Quote from: Polvorón on October 29, 2021, 12:30:00 AMBecause most of people do this for themselves, not for other people.
Cosmetic surgeries and tattoos are a personal choice, having or not a GF or BF doesn't matter.
It's true maybe speciallyif one has height dysphoria...I feel the neurosis even alone at home....
Quote from: Polvorón on October 29, 2021, 12:30:00 AMBecause most of people do this for themselves, not for other people.
Cosmetic surgeries and tattoos are a personal choice, having or not a GF or BF doesn't matter.
A lot of people here want LL only because of what other people will think. Short guys who haven't had much success in love and career see people just as good or worse than them in every respect but height doing much better in life.
No way would I have done this to myself if not for others' height discrimination against me.
I think it depends on her reasoning, if she’s pissed because she’s worried about possible complications then I think that’s very understandable, just have an honest conversation with her and explain the safety to benefit ratio for you. If she’s mad that you are changing a part of yourself then you have to have a conversation Why you are doing this and maybe even if you guys will workout in the long term. Can you give more insight into what about it makes her upset?
How would you handle these questions?
1. I liked your old height better, it was perfect for me, why did you change?
2. Why did you keep this a secret from me? (not sure if I should say the truth- 'because I think you would have objected and given me more stress during the process')
3. Why did you risk your health? What if it affected your walking / able to do a job someday?
4. Why aren't you focusing more on applying to X school, this will delay your application by a year? (yes it will and I'm not sure what to say)
5. Do you have any other secrets? (yup, planning on hair transplant. Should I tell her?)
And don't forget
6. So you like taller girls/want to date someone else? (I want to be with my current GF. But unless I am able to get into a school near where she lives, I don't see how we could stay together. I don't think it is a good idea to say this thought aloud.)
Quote1. I liked your old height better, it was perfect for me, why did you change?
For other people. You may think it's fine but most other people think less of me because of my short stature.
Quote2. Why did you keep this a secret from me? (not sure if I should say the truth- 'because I think you would have objected and given me more stress during the process')
Because I was too cowardly to be forthcoming and honest with you. I guess I need to learn to man up.
Quote3. Why did you risk your health? What if it affected your walking / able to do a job someday?
I was tired of all the height discrimination. Mussolini said it's better to live one day as a lion than a hundred years as a sheep. I have the opportunity to become a lion here and it's worth the risk.
Quote4. Why aren't you focusing more on applying to X school, this will delay your application by a year? (yes it will and I'm not sure what to say)
I realized that grad school is a waste of time and money. I didn't want to be like that idiot Medium Drink Of Water who took out thousands and thousands of dollars in non-bankrupcy dischargable student loans just to find this out.
Quote5. Do you have any other secrets? (yup, planning on hair transplant. Should I tell her?)
In addition to not wanting to be short, I also don't want to be bald. Gonna pay another several thousand dollars to get some hair grafts in the front here.
Quote6. So you like taller girls/want to date someone else? (I want to be with my current GF. But unless I am able to get into a school near where she lives, I don't see how we could stay together. I don't think it is a good idea to say this thought aloud.)
We might not be together much longer anyway. I like you but it just might not work out. I need to make sure I have good options in the future if we break up.
I have not done LL yet. I plan to do it in September. The title is to help me think through the possibilities.
Based on the responses, it seems like if I did LL and did not tell my GF, she would not like it.
So it seems like I should tell her that I am going to do it. I have not done LL yet, and I want to do internal femur Gnail with Giotikas next fall and then internal tibia maybe like a year later with Parihar. I've budgeted about 150k$ for both.
How would you tell your GF about this? I imagine something she'll be pissed about is me being stingy with money with her even though I had this money saved up. And she'll be annoyed because she likes my current height. Mentally, I'm already ready to get dumped but wonder if I can somehow say something to make this work.
Quote from: Polvorón on October 29, 2021, 12:30:00 AMBecause most of people do this for themselves, not for other people.
Cosmetic surgeries and tattoos are a personal choice, having or not a GF or BF doesn't matter.
I know but I was not talking about LL being not for just girls. But it'd be heartbreaking if you still wanna do LL, partnering with a GF. I've experienced my ex-gf's hatreds cuz I confessed I wanted to do LL and I was still feeling inferior, then she really pissed off.
Quote from: SpeedDialer on October 31, 2021, 01:34:50 AMBased on the responses, it seems like if I did LL and did not tell my GF, she would not like it.
Yeah, not a good surprise for someone to get from someone they believe they're in a close relationship with. If you keep that to yourself it's a red flag to her that she is not important in your life, and there's no gentle way to explain that away. All your questions were in the past tense which made me think you were definitely planning to keep it a secret from her until after you got taller.
QuoteHow would you tell your GF about this? I imagine something she'll be pissed about is me being stingy with money with her even though I had this money saved up. And she'll be annoyed because she likes my current height. Mentally, I'm already ready to get dumped but wonder if I can somehow say something to make this work.
It's good that you're prepared to get dumped because that's a possibility, but it's not guaranteed. Several LLers I met in person had girlfriends/boyfriends at the time, and a few even came to visit them in the hospital. One without even telling the guy she was coming. He wasn't happy about that, actually.
You should tell her that you've been insecure about your height for a long time, that you feel like you don't get much respect from the world in general because you're short, that you've had this surgery in the back of your mind for years and decided to finally go for it before you have to spend any more years being short. If you convince her that this has been a serious long-term mental/emotional problem for you, she'll probably be OK with your wanting to fix it.
Thanks for helping me think through this clearly
I will tell her everything after I book the surgery and I will mentally prepare myself to be dumped
I wonder if I should try to get dumped before the surgery happens because I think it would be more difficult emotionally to get dumped during the middle surgery. I vaguely remember reading that certain drugs you take during the recovery cause depression or negative thoughts. On the other hand, there is an off chance she will still be with me anyway.
What do you think? Should I try intentionally to get dumped before the surgery starts?
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