If you're doing LL, almost 30, and Mom demands to know where you are, what now?

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I'm thinking through this

She did send me some money for living expenses recently

She doesn't know where I am now or that I'm doing LL, but she suspects it is leg lengthening

She is demanding to know where I am now

I may ask her help financially in applying to schools later

She doesn't approve of leg lengthening, said once she would stop supporting me if I ever did it

Trying to figure out what to do, ---probably ask her not to tell anyone, and then tell her everything? Are there better options? Eventually she will find out when I come back home, it will be obvious when I see her again from my walking gait and new height

I don't know what to do with the angry and panicked emails from her demanding to know where I am and what I'm doing now, I was staying at her home for about two months and then I up and left suddenly. Now, I'm trying to collect my thoughts. I didn't expect these emails from her given my age, but now I am trying to figure out what to do

What mistakes could I make in responding to her, what could go wrong?

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You are a financially stable 30 years old. You dont owe her any explanation and sure not respond to her

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I told everyone who needed to be told.  This included my mom.  Better be honest with her and everyone else who will definitley find out, unless you're planning to never see them again.

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She might panic even more and could abandon you. I think before disappearing for LL you should have told her you were going somewhere for something (a new temporary job, hanging out with a friend, whatever else). But I still think you could lie to her and tell her a fake reason like you got a job and you’ve just been really busy, the issue with telling her or anyone really is that all it takes is for her to tell one other person then from there your secret might be told to others and spread.

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Quote from: Medium Drink Of Water on September 27, 2022, 05:31:31 PMI told everyone who needed to be told.  This included my mom.  Better be honest with her and everyone else who will definitley find out, unless you're planning to never see them again.

Yeah. I am not sure if it will help but I will probably ask her not to tell anyone and ask my siblings who are with her not to tell anyone (which I think she will maybe follow 70% but she'll probably tell someone)

And then there is the question of whether to tell her now or wait a bit

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I don't think lying is an option because I am definitely going back to see my Mom in a few months and it will be obvious from the crutches, the way I walk, the wheelchair, the scars, and my new height what happened. And I will probably ask her for rides to an orthopedic surgeon to get xrays done, which I have to do anyway and send to Dr. Giotikas

I guess the questions remaining are when to tell her, how to tell her, remembering to ask her and my siblings not to tell anyone, if there is anything else I should do

There is the option of silence/waiting to tell her but I am am still weighing in my head the pros and cons of that

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So there’s a couple clarifying questions I have to better understand your situation before I feel like I can offer advice.
1)How financially stable are you?
2) What is your relationship like with your mom and how much does it mean to you?
3) Why are you getting LL? Is it just for cosmetic reasons or are you addressing some deep underlying dysphoria?

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Lol you’re 30 and your mom demands to know where you are?  If you have a relationship like this why didn't you plan at all?  At this point just tell her.

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Quote from: Sambollio on September 27, 2022, 08:23:32 PMSo there’s a couple clarifying questions I have to better understand your situation before I feel like I can offer advice.
1)How financially stable are you?
2) What is your relationship like with your mom and how much does it mean to you?
3) Why are you getting LL? Is it just for cosmetic reasons or are you addressing some deep underlying dysphoria?

1) Not financially stable, no job, but I do have enough for LL
2) Having her help for applying to schools would be very useful, I lived with her for alot of the last three years
3) cosmetic

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Tell her, you just can't go and don't say anything. She is going to know  what you did in the end.
Other option is to talk with her and say that you are doing another thing, but it's not going to be very credible. You need to calm her down.