Hi guys,

I've never really talked about this but I saw an ex that sparked all these feelings inside of me that I just need help with to. Be honest ... I've felt like this and bottled it for to long. Ever since I was around 16 ive hated myself, literally everything about me - family life sucked, social life sucked but I created this persona of not caring which helped me so much in dealing with everything in my life. I never felt like I belonged to anything, I just feel void and empty, even with my long term girlfriend who was honestly the only thing that made me feel slightly happy - we split not long ago and I've recently seen her with someone else and it just made feel like  . I'm not saying that this is sole reason I hate myself because it's such a small part of it, but regardless of what I do in my life where. Gym,fk random girls, go out with mates I just never feel a connection with anything at all and it's slowly driving me mentally insane - my depression is all I think about and how it drove the only thing I loved away from me ... I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to ask for help on something I can't fully explain but I can't take living anymore and the only reason I haven't killed myself is because the old me perceived it as weak minded and I can't go through with it ... Have any of you been to a therapist and does it help?