How to mentally prepare yourself for CLL?

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Hello to dear LL'res

If everything goes as expected, I will have this surgery in 3 months.
Every morning when I wake up, I find myself questioning whether this is a sane thing to do or not, And before bed, I become almost certain that this is the right thing to do. It is hard to imagine becoming incapable of walking and getting around in only 4-6 hours. The fear of excruciating and unbearable pain also discourages me sometimes.But again, I can't get over this surgery. How can someone prepare him/her self for something that is going to need a lot of mental toughness? Those who have done this surgery, how did you manage to finally find the courage to go ahead and do it knowing that you could die or live with a complication for the rest of your life? are there any specific activities that will help a person to become mentally tough? I'm trying Cold showers and endurance running for that purpose at the time.

Looking forward to your answers.

Best wishes,
chasingthedream

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Thanks for the reply!
this was really helpful, I hope he's doing well.

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I agree that it is worth it at the end of the day since you're treating your psychological issue you've been having all your life to start living a more fulfilling life. All that said, it is still risky. You go in the operating room as a healthy person, and potentially giving yourself complications or chance of death even.