Biggest bummer of this surgery - you cant really date until you get the rods out

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Im 100% getting this done.  But this is probably my biggest disappointment of this surgery personally.  Rods wont come out until a year after the surgery minimum.  Can tack on several months after for the scars to not look terrible as well.  Many of us are getting this done in our early 30’s.  Seems to be a common age.  Hate that Ill be close to mid 30’s when this is over with.  If your’re completely comfortable with letting the person you date know about this procedure then good for you and it wont be an issue but I wont be.   Anyone else have this anxiety?

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Quote from: lessthanavg8300 on October 18, 2022, 02:06:22 AMIm 100% getting this done.  But this is probably my biggest disappointment of this surgery personally.  Rods wont come out until a year after the surgery minimum.  Can tack on several months after for the scars to not look terrible as well.  Many of us are getting this done in our early 30’s.  Seems to be a common age.  Hate that Ill be close to mid 30’s when this is over with.  If your’re completely comfortable with letting the person you date know about this procedure then good for you and it wont be an issue but I wont be.   Anyone else have this anxiety?

Getting the rods out takes like a week. Just say you're out visiting your great uncle from your distant side or something.

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And have like 6 new incision wounds? She would have to be oblivious.

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Quote from: lessthanavg8300 on October 18, 2022, 03:16:26 AMAnd have like 6 new incision wounds? She would have to be oblivious.

Those incision wounds take less time to heal than the first surgery. You're stressing this for no reason.

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Quote from: shortisnotfun on October 18, 2022, 03:35:47 AMThose incision wounds take less time to heal than the first surgery. You're stressing this for no reason.

Also like to note that although this surgery has been getting pretty popular recently lot of people still don't know about it let alone how the incision scars look like. I am pretty sure most people would just see the scars and not even question it. OP sounds like one of those people that wear height lifts and overthink if it's obvious or not.

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Have people in this forum never had a relationship with a woman before or just delusional?  Because it shows.  You go away for a week and come back with incision wounds and its going to be pretty obvious.  And no they're not going to be "better than the original surgery so nobody can see them" or something.  They just cut you open with a scalpel.  Unless you plan on dating a blind woman shes going to see that.

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Quote from: lessthanavg8300 on October 18, 2022, 11:45:33 AMHave people in this forum never had a relationship with a woman before or just delusional?  Because it shows.  You go away for a week and come back with incision wounds and its going to be pretty obvious.  And no they're not going to be "better than the original surgery so nobody can see them" or something.  They just cut you open with a scalpel.  Unless you plan on dating a blind woman shes going to see that.

The responses you received were not entirely realistic. I was dating a woman after recovered from femurs but before rod removal. As you pointed out unless you're dating a blind woman fresh wounds will be noticed. I stressed about what to tell her. I ended up going with the truth but in a limited way. I told her I would not see her the upcoming weekend, that I had broken my legs a while ago and needed to get metal rods removed. Before she could get going with the sympathy and questions, I told her that it's painful memories and I don't like talking about it but I'm 100% fine, nothing to worry about, I'd see her next week. Given her personality I thought it'd probably be enough and it was. However, some women will not respect a man's privacy or feelings enough to not pull at that thread...

My suggestion is that you date once you've recovered, but don't buy into oneitis mentality. If you end up in a monogamous relationship when it's time for rod removal you can decide whether to break up, tell her something, tell her everything, or whatever. She'll notice fresh wounds/scars for sure though.

You might also delay your rod removal surgery till after a relationship ends and before the next one starts. Or don't agree to be monogamous with anyone till after rod removal and simply ghost anyone your seeing right before rod removal. In the modern dating world that is pretty common behavior by both men and women.

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Yeah I think the best option for me is 2 months after rods come out.  Probably 1.5 years after surgery.  I wouldnt want to date a girl and then break up with her over something like this.  Easier to just pick up life after.

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Has anyone had a girlfriend react negatively after sharing u did CLL?

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Do you guys know anyone who has done scar removal surgery for LL scars? Not sure the type of doctor, costs, type of surgery, recovery time, etc I feel like that info would be useful for us

I'm doing gnail femurs now, thinking of doing internal tibias in late 2023/early 2024 and then doing scar removal eventually