booked surgery next month getting nightmares

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Quote from: finally on November 12, 2019, 05:02:13 PMactually I remember around 6 months ago I didnt have enough money and due to some family issues i couldn't get LL and I was super angry back then and thought "I will do it asap". but now the stage is set and I am all shaky

It's said that the emotions fear and excitement are the same, and therefore feel the same. I think you are positively excited, because this is a time for you that really counts.

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oh finally, you're right at that height where LL benefits the most because you're going from short to pretty much average, I also started around low 5'6 high 5'5 and I am 175cms now on the dot, so 5'9 ish the change is very noticeable and I'm pleased to be this height now, no more height dysphoria. but you got to be 100% committed since the beginning bro, if you start having regrets or a bad attitude during LL you might be underperforming on your PT and recovery might not work out that well for you. so Commit, and go all in with a positive attitude, or don't do it.

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Hi Finally,

I have been in the same situation than you (surgery already booked but I have decided to cancel at the end and I also suffered from height disphoria for many years but on my way to get better without LL.)

It is just my opinion but as you seem to be in the same case than me, I advise you to leave the forum for a while : indeed, the forum and most of the users make you feel that you need to pay crazy amount of money and get your 2 legs broken  in order to be happy. You don't.

Not an easy exercice but write down your goal on a paper (goal now, in 5 years, 10 years..) For me, to give you an example it is to have a nice girlfriend, continue to travel all around the world and live meaningful experience, have a job where I help people and be financially free.

If you write down your goals, you will see that LL is not needed to achieve them. You just let your mind thinking that LL is needed. Of course, taller is good. But being short is more than fine too and should not stop you for anything.

You are saying you see short people around you who seem happy. And you are right. Take them as role model.  Don t take as role model stranger on a forum who pay thousands of euros/dollars to get their legs broken (and risks as well)

But renouncing to  LL will not be easy at the beginning, you will also have doubts.
But I think it s a good path and you can contact me if ever you need to talk.

And if ever you still  think LL is the right and only solution for you, as Movie said, go for it 100% and don t regret your choice even if complication arised or recovery is longer than expected.

Just my 2 cents, and I wish you the best whatever your decision.

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Hey Finally

Anyoine187 is totally correct and I agree 100%.
I was and still is a successful and happy short man. 
Being short all my life has not stop me from accomplishing my goal and dreams. 
I been a member of the old site since 2017 and that when it all started, me thinking of CLL almost every other day till Stryde came along and me finally having my surgery.
It was a dream of mine to be taller and to be permanently taller. 
So here I am almost reaching my goal of reaching 8cm taller and have not regretted one second of it.
I’ll still be considered a short man after growing 8cm but I’ll be more happy and know that I did it so I don’t have to think about CLL again.
I had the same worries before my surgery but it all went away after a nurse tap me on the shoulder to wake me up in the OR recovery room and say it all done and successful.
Please know that this is life changing surgery and it’s a fight but it’s all so worth it, well to me at least.
I too will be leaving this forum after I’m done cause there are some crazy people on this forum including myself😂.  And at time this forum will mess with your head.
Oh not to scare you or anything, I believe in dream is a hindsight of our past or a tell on our near future.
Best wishes and good luck!!!!

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Quote from: azman on November 12, 2019, 10:37:54 PMHey Finally

Anyoine187 is totally correct and I agree 100%.
I was and still is a successful and happy short man. 
Being short all my life has not stop me from accomplishing my goal and dreams. 
I been a member of the old site since 2017 and that when it all started, me thinking of CLL almost every other day till Stryde came along and me finally having my surgery.
It was a dream of mine to be taller and to be permanently taller. 
So here I am almost reaching my goal of reaching 8cm taller and have not regretted one second of it.
I’ll still be considered a short man after growing 8cm but I’ll be more happy and know that I did it so I don’t have to think about CLL again.
I had the same worries before my surgery but it all went away after a nurse tap me on the shoulder to wake me up in the OR recovery room and say it all done and successful.
Please know that this is life changing surgery and it’s a fight but it’s all so worth it, well to me at least.
I too will be leaving this forum after I’m done cause there are some crazy people on this forum including myself😂.  And at time this forum will mess with your head.
Oh not to scare you or anything, I believe in dream is a hindsight of our past or a tell on our near future.
Best wishes and good luck!!!!

Hi Azman, im glad to hear that you  almost reach your goal. We miss your diary though, and hope to see some updates from you. Any x-ray yet?

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Hey Finally...I know the feeling. I am currently doing Stryde femurs and am about 5 cm into my journey. Might sound crazy but I can say that the month leading up to the surgery was far more difficult than the months after....and trust me the LL process has physically and mentally been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. I'm a highly analytical and neurotic person, on top of that, I kept LL private from my friends and family, so leading up the surgery, I was a mess......depressed, couldn't sleep or eat, couldn't focus on work. I kept going back on forth on the whole thing, questioning the decision, questioning the cost and investment, questioning the health risks, even at times questioning my sanity.

Then, once the surgery happened, and I woke up in that operating room, a weird sense of relief came. It was over with. No more over analyzing, no more questioning, no more living in a complicated mess of a life, it was over and done with. At that point, my purpose was clear and simple.....lengthen, PT, and recover. Trust me that LL is no walk in the park, and I'm still deep in it (5cm on my way to 7 or 8 cm hopefully) but the months leading up to it were far more challenging from a mental perspective. I can say even at 5 cm, as a crippled, with my walk/gait in bad shape, and lonely, it feels worth it standing 2 inches taller on my way to 3 inches. Height dysphoria is a difficult thing, outside of height neurosis my life was great, and I already feel like I'm on my way to getting rid of it.

Try meditation, breathing, anything to avoid over thinking. You'll get through this month and be on your way. The reward is worth it man!

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thanks for the advice and perspective Movie, TheAlchemist, azman, Antoine187, LLPrime2

I went through  some old diaries and many of them express severe anxiety before surgery.

i tried watching movies and shows of "tough people" who go through difficulty (like rambo) in order to feel inspired but surprisingly it makes me feel more anxious. but watching more chilled out "good times" movies of people having fun, comedy films make me feel better about my decision lol

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I don’t think it warrants nightmares. I went with Betz on femurs and never has the pain been excruciating. It was more of a dull, nagging pain that makes it difficult to concentrate or even sleep sometimes, but nothing that should cause nightmares. Even immediately after surgery I felt very little pain and it was all under my control, depending on how I moved. You shouldn’t worry too much.  It’s been worth it!