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Posted on Sep 17, 2019, 6:18 am
#1
Hey LL community,

I'm having my bi-lateral femur surgery (Stryde) with Dr. Paley later today. Starting a diary to share with the amazing community here.

Diaries were a valuable resource to help provide me with a raw glimpse into the LL journey. A big thank you to those veteran and current LLers who have shared their journeys with us. I hope my diary helps any current or future LLers with information to glean insights from and make informed decisions over. Any support and advice from veterans or current LLers for me during my journey will be very much appreciated!

STATS

Age: Mid 30's

Gender: Male

Current Height: 5'8.5 or 174 cm at night (around 5'9 in the morning)

Goal: No crisp quantitative metrics here....my ultimate goal is to free myself of height neurosis. I don't want to get caught up in the numbers game, but personally that translates to an ideal gain ranging anywhere from 6 cm to 7 cm, with anything above deemed a bonus. I'd like to balance and optimize length and functionality. I'll listen to my body and take it day by day.

Family / Friends Doing this entirely solo - I've decided to keep this procedure private and haven't told any family or friends. The primary reason is I don't want my family and friends to worry about me as this procedure is pretty crazy in the eyes of the general public and my family/friends don't understand the depths and complexities  of height neurosis. Although having them around these challenging times would be amazing and incredibly helpful, I'm fairly independent and will push forward solo.

Caretaker Booked a care taker for the first week after discharge from the hospital (4 nights in the hospital post op until discharge.) Will play it by ear but planning on 3 days at 24 hours, and 8 hrs/day thereafter.

Living Situation Staying at one of the recommended Paley hotels.

Financing Paid for the procedure with my own hard earned cash. The fees for STRYDE femurs are all over the forum so please refer to those threads for info around costs.

About myself: I'm generally content and happy in the core areas of my life (career, family/friends, women). Overall I'd say I have a healthy sense of self worth and confidence and live life with an abundance mentality..... however, one area I'm not satisfied with is my height.

I've struggled with height dysphoria for the past 5 or so years. It has manifested itself into a shoe lift addiction where I don't leave the house without my 2 inch shoe lifts. It boils down to height dysphoria creating irrational limitations on living my best life. For example, although I was satisfied with my sxx life and the options I had, I realized the height dysphoria put a real constraint on building deeper connections with some of the women I grew closer to as I avoided situations where I had to take off my shoes which pretty much rules out any normal relationship (other than laying flat on my bed with them.)

Earlier this year it got to a point where I declined an important wedding of a close loved one simply because it was on a beach and the dress code was barefoot. At that point it became painfully obvious that I was making irrational decisions based on my height issues and was slowly living a life that was not congruent with my purpose or desired life experiences. 

It became clear that I needed to address the height dysphoria and I ultimately was left with two options, either 1) accept my current height at 5'8.5 and seek therapy to address the dysphoria or 2) explore LL.........Welp.....here I am a few hours away from my surgery. The main reasons I've come to this decision comes down to timing as a) I'm at this odd point in my life where my career, finances, and living situation allow me to afford the procedure and dedicate the massive amount of time required for it and b) the advent of the recent STRYDE technology and the game changing factor of being able to weight bear (timing is everything isn't it!?!?) Deep down inside I knew had I not gone forward with LL it would have been something I'd think about for the rest of my life and it's not so often where you are at a point in your life where you have the time and finances to do something as life changing as LL, so.....here I am!

One thing I want to make clear. I'm not doing LL for any external person or thing. My height has never presented itself as a real issue when it comes to my dating life, my career, or how my family/friends view me. The reality is I have height neurosis, a mental issue where I am not satisfied with my natural height and I'm addressing it through LL. I want to emphasize that I am doing this for me.

I did my research and had a short list of potential surgeons to go with but ended up with Paley simply based on his experience and reputation as the #1 LL surgeon in the world which I believe best stacks the odds of a successful outcome in my favor. 

Current Mood 40% nervous/ anxious, 40% excited, 20% WTF am I really doing this?!?!? I've been planning this surgery for quite some time now and have put off living my normal life (planning vacations, dating certain women long term, hanging out with friends) in anticipation of knowing I will be off the grid, dedicating 100% of myself to LL for at least 5 months.....so it goes without saying that I'm excited to get this show on the road.

The fear mostly stems from the solo aspect of all of this and the psychological challenges that come with solitude and loneliness. In fact, the psychological aspect of this scares me more than the physical aspect, which I know, will take every ounce of strength, patience, and determination to push through the pain and general physical limitations.

OTHER   I did quite a bit of planning/shopping for things leading up to my operation. I'll share that list with you guys once I've had a few weeks to really understand what worked for me and what didn't.

I also want to say thank you to the members of this community who have helped me along the way (too many to list, you know who you are!)

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Posted on Sep 17, 2019, 6:45 am
#2
I think you already have a good height and you have a good mindset. Hope everything goes fine for you. Wish you all the best.
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Posted on Sep 17, 2019, 6:57 am
#3
Let me be the first(well, until there was a response while I was typing this up) to wish you all the best! What a coincidence I swung back by the forum right as someone in such a similar position was beginning their journey.

You honestly sound like a version of myself that had developed height dysphoria a few years sooner than I did. I really do think you will be completely cured if not feel MORE relief than me, so just remember the goal at the end of the tunnel.

Its a hard process in a lot of ways, but just remember that the pain and the isolation ENDS and that on the other side you will be an objectively better version of yourself- taller and with total peace of mind.

If you ever are feeling in the gutter or just want to compare and contrast with someone who has been in an essentially identical position always feel free to hit me up.
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Posted on Sep 17, 2019, 3:48 pm
#4
I wish you the best of luck brotha. one piece of advice, keep up with the pain medication every 4 hours. Do not let the nurses forget. It'll be a breeze for you if you do that. Once that medication wears off after 4 hours and you let it go and forget, it'll be hard to keep control and you will be uncomfortable.
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Posted on Sep 17, 2019, 7:55 pm
#5
Good luck, Alchemist!  Your story is relatable to many.   Let me know if you have any questions along the way and I'd be happy to advise.
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Posted on Sep 17, 2019, 8:58 pm
#6
Best of luck bro, will be following up!
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Posted on Sep 18, 2019, 12:31 am
#7
Hey guys,

Well....it’s done. Happy to report back that the surgery went well. Currently in the hospital and resting. I know the next few days will be rough so I’m enjoying this medicated low pain state while it lasts.

I’ll update the diary and respond to questions  with a detailed recap in the next few days once I get back to the hotel. Thanks for all of the support and kind words. .

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Posted on Sep 18, 2019, 6:23 am
#8
Best advice for this phase is to just stay ahead of the pain as opposed to reacting as it gets severe. Good luck! You've got this.
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Posted on Sep 19, 2019, 4:07 pm
#9
Hello Alchemist....I really wish you best of luck for your journey....And hope that everything will be awesome .....I am a future lengthner....N I'll be following your diary....!
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Posted on Sep 21, 2019, 9:24 pm
#10
Quote from: Natleebow on September 17, 2019, 11:24:11 AMYes! You're one of the taller guys on here, more relatable for me at 177cm. I have a couple questions if you dont mind.

1) are you going to take pictures and videos?

2) I lived in west palm beach my whole life, why do most people get their surgeries at the peak of hurricane season?

3)  are you considering tibias in the future to be over 6ft tall?

Wish you the best, PM me I would love to meet someone going through this.

1) Currently not planning on sharing any pics or videos due to privacy and not having the time to record/edit etc. We'll see as the journey progresses. May take a few videos during the consolidation phase to document how my walk/gait progresses. 

2) The timing had more to do with my career. I planned it during a time that is seasonally less demanding for me and my team and at a point where I received a substantial amount of stock awards vesting. The idea of a hurricane worries me from time to time, but totally out of my control.

3) No tibias in the future for me. Perfectly happy with 5'11 or 6 ft when all is said and done with femurs. I was fortunate enough to have experienced life with 2 inch lifts for the past few years, which put me at about 5'11.5 in shoes and I was content there. With this procedure if everything goes as planned I'll end up about half an inch above that so I expect to walk away satisfied with the results (6ft to 6'1 in shoes).
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