Guilt and selfishness of wanting more height

I've abandoned one of bggest goals : giving my mother,only woman who ever cared about me, a nice house to live in for her final years after all the effort shes done to raise me. The world around me is narcissistic and superficial, in order to thrive i must become like them in order to strive. My mother cannot provide me the intimacy gotten from other women and I believe that this is something all humans need in order to stay mentally stable. I'm going to do all that I can to save up and increase my physical attractiveness in order to live my best life without any regrets.

I want to be a winner in order to be worthy of amazing relationships and limb lengthening will get me closer to my goal. My mother is old and has dementia now so even if I provide her with a nice house instead of letting her live her remaining years in a dingy hospital, would it even make a difference besides satisfying some kind of self fulfillment? I'm simply adapting to the environment I live in so why should I feel guilty or selfish? I don't believe there is a god anymore, the world runs on competition,greed, and vanity.

To further add, the money ill make will go into making myself better/attractive and no one else.

Dont overthink it. Do overthink whether the project you undertake is pre-planned, safe, with enough of money to spare for "unhappy accidents", enough time and enough mental fortiche.