Psychological Aspect - isn't LL the ultimate surrender?

Hello,

this is my first post here. After reading various topics over the previous weeks i decided to sign up because so far i couldn't find too much info about a question that i got in the back of my head:

Doing LL is tempting for me, not gonna lie, it could basically change something that has been bothering me since puberty i believe (i am not super short btw. - 170cm - but yeah it is bothering me nevertheless).

However, one aspect that i would like your opinion on is the following:
isn't it like "giving in" and doing the surgery kind of like losing a battle, we all fought for our entire lives?
Isn't it "losing", because we finally admit we will never psychologically be able to fully get over our natural given height?

And second related aspect/question: How do you feel when thinking about your parents? Maybe it is just me, i know i am a very sensitive person, but i for one have good relationship to my parents and i somehow feel like disappointing them by not accepting what they made me inherit naturally.

And yes, i am a grown man, just turned 30 recently.
And yes, i am indeed going to therapy in case anybody was wondering. I am just really interested what other LLers (be it pre- or post-surgery) are thinking about those kind of "psychological" topics?

Does anybody here have similar feelings? Or do you not think about such things at all?

The fact that there are those 2 extremely opposing sides inside my head (finally getting rid of the biggest burden vs. finally surrendering and 'losing the game') makes me create this post. 

While I'm battling a different issue, which is getting shorter not taller, I'm on your same wavelength.

At first before this mental issue got serious, I was like "That forum is for mentally ill people"
Then "I should accept myself as I am, only crazies do that"
Then slowly but surely, my brain started normalizing this idea until I actually started considering it.
And yes, I think daily about "once I do it, it means I've lost against my vanity and shallow desire for social acceptance".
Even if it's all inside my head.

You can also find a couple of diaries from people that express those regrets after having surgeries.
One even had a semi mental breakdown in his diary over thinking he couldn't accept himself and broke his bones even when his life was happy.

Any kind of Aesthetic surgery is the ultimate form of giving up.

Although your height is fine, my husband is around your height. So if possible, try believing and understanding that 1.70 is quite average between hundred of millions around the world.

It’s certainly an interesting discussion.

One thing I’d argue: If you got braces to align your teeth, would you feel the same way?

That you would be giving in and surrendering to vanity over the natural body given by your parents?

Now obviously LL and braces are not the same. One is a lot more dangerous, costly and time consuming.

However, what if it wasn’t? If the procedure itself was as safe and consuming as aligning teeth with braces, would you feel the same way?

What I’m trying to say is that maybe the question we are trying to answer is whether the risk and cost is worth the change in appearance.

If so the logical thing to do is to quantify the risk and the cost and then try to weigh up the pros and the cons as objectively as one can.

Quote from: lemile on January 06, 2024, 02:36:50 PM

Does anybody here have similar feelings? Or do you not think about such things at all?

No, not at all. You're way overthinking this.
Your height is bothering you, LL is a fix to what is bothering you.
That's all there is to it.

Quote from: TheDream on January 06, 2024, 06:20:31 PMIt’s certainly an interesting discussion.

One thing I’d argue: If you got braces to align your teeth, would you feel the same way?

That you would be giving in and surrendering to vanity over the natural body given by your parents?

Now obviously LL and braces are not the same. One is a lot more dangerous, costly and time consuming.

Not the same at all.
Braces are there to fix issues that can be fatal at times. To reveal hidden caries, be able to smile and bite.

Being a few centimeters under average isn't a disability, you're a healthy individual with unhealthy thoughts.
You were normal and decided to break your bones because a few people made you feel bad.
((Unless you have severe dwarfism)

It's hypocritical for me to say this, but I don't believe LL people are the most mentally sane.

Quote from: babygirl on January 07, 2024, 09:17:42 AMNot the same at all.
Braces are there to fix issues that can be fatal at times. To reveal hidden caries, be able to smile and bite.

Being a few centimeters under average isn't a disability, you're a healthy individual with unhealthy thoughts.
You were normal and decided to break your bones because a few people made you feel bad.
((Unless you have severe dwarfism)

It's hypocritical for me to say this, but I don't believe LL people are the most mentally sane.

You didn’t follow the logic in the second part of my post which was connected to the first part …

That braces are occasionally used for medical reasons is irrelevant. One could apply the same logic for LL and say LL is used for potentially fatal misalignments in the bones, and used to correct discrepancies etc.

However, we are discussing cosmetic changes to the body, and a large amount of braces are used purely to improve the aesthetics of the patients smile (i.e. cosmetic reasons).

So I repeat. In the case where braces are used purely for an aesthetic purpose: Would you use the same logic? That you are mentally ill for doing so and changing your smile as having a crooked smile isn’t a disability but simply a bit below average in terms of “teeth alignment”? That you are altering your mouth and teeth because a few people made you feel bad?

Obviously the answer is no, there is nothing wrong with fixing the aesthetic of your smile with braces.

Thus we have established the logical argument that altering your body for cosmetic reasons is immoral or wrong in of itself, as of that the original poster was asking, is false.

However, what remains is obviously the thing that separates LL from braces which is the risk and the cost of the surgery.

So one needs to argue and quantify the risk and the cost if one wants to weigh whether LL is sane or insane.

And here come the various LL methods (internal/external), lengthening amounts (5 cm femur / 12 cm femur), different doctors etc.

Now obviously if you were to do 12 cm femur lengthening with an external method in Turkey I think most people would agree this would be insane due to the risk involved.

However, if one did 5 cm femur, using a modern internal weight bearing device, using a top doctor I think most people would agree this would be sane.

In conclusion it’s not about changing your appearance itself. If there was a button you could click that made you taller with 0 cost and 0 risk would you really dwell on the same thoughts? No, it is the risk and the cost that are the source of these thoughts around LL being immoral etc. so it is only by quantifying these that we can have a serious discussion about whether something is sane or insane regarding LL.