Hello all,
I recently created an account for this forum after researching this surgery for the past year. I am 22 and 5'9.5 , I know that by no means am I short, in fact I am the exact average for the U.S. where I live. I am posting basically to get some feedback and honestly just be candid and vent. I fully believe in height dysphoria and I think it can have many origins. My reason for having it is somewhat unique I believe. I am the second oldest of six siblings and we all are roughly average except my older brother. He is 6'2, this probably wouldn't be a big deal except the fact that he was physically and emotionally abusive to me as I grew up, (he was later diagnosed with ASPD, he would do other things like kill small animals and even gave my little sister an eating disorder by humiliating her eating habits which were normal) . I remember always feeling small and it was only exacerbated when he hit puberty and everyone was complimenting him about his height and when I hit puberty a couple of years later the feeling of being let down and inferior was immense. I don't desire to be his height or taller, I just don't want to feel small and week anymore. My goal is the classic 8cm. I have been seeking help for this feeling for years now and it has helped all my issues except this one. I think this is due to the fact that my insecurities are constantly reinforced by those around me. For example, my mom has the tall genes of the two parents and constantly makes fun of my dad for his height and expresses zero attraction to him, she also remarks to my youngest brother about how short he is.There are many other experiences I have had to reinforce this complex I have but I think the root comes from my older brother. I just want to be happy, and I genuinely think after waking up everyday and thinking about my height multiple times throughout that LL is the part of the path to achieve it.
My mom is between 5'7 and 5'8. I can't say exactly why she makes fun of his height, perhaps it is because she secretly despises that aspect of him? Just a guess. It also is just socially acceptable for men to be teased for not being tall. And no offense taken I didn't realise my mom and dads weird relationship until I ,moved out. I noticed that whenever he tries to be intimate at all with her, kissing, hugging, complimenting etc... She rejects him harshly. Saying its gross, or telling him to stop. It may sound strange but I think it's normal for parents' children to pick up on some underlying sexuaity between their parents and I never got that, they seem like siblings. My mom's mom was apparently a huge party girl and my mom grew to despise that so I think she went the opposite direction and is very non-sexual/never drinks/ doesn't enjoy anything that isn't "PG". I think she had 6 kids as a means to an ends of having kids, having sex was just a part of that (most likely unfortunately for her). I appreciate your words of encouragement, I hope to get the surgery done before 25 and am looking at Dr. Mahboubian. Obviously being able to impress girls is nice but the height dysphoria is real. It reminds me of depression in that it feels physical. Well it is but what I mean is that when I was depressed I felt slow and heavy and tired. The height dysphoria makes me feel physically tiny. What would you recommend doctor wise? I chose mahboubian because of the balance of price, hs close to me, and has a great reputation.
I am probably going with Dr. shahab mahboubian. His prices are among the best for the U.S. He has a great track record. He is friendly and caring which I think is very important for this surgery, as it is quite frightening in some aspects. And I will be going to school in a year in a half very near there which is perfect because it will give me time to save money.
Ya not only have I considered it, but I have. Not just for my height dysphoria but believe it or not, they messed my head in a couple ways. It’s been about 1.5 years of going to therapy either once a week or once every other. Many of my issues have improved including my height dysphoria! But I’d say I’ve had the same mindset for about 6 months now after the initial year and it hasn’t budged. Therapy has taken an edge off for sure, but it’s beginning to look like certain issues will be a life long struggle. I am still researching limb lengthening, and if I do it, it’ll be with a highly reputable doctor to minimize risk. Basically I have another 16-20 months of saving and researching to decide whether or not it is worth it. It’s also time for me to continue my therapy, and if I get over it, Great! I get to save 70k+! So ya I totally agree therapy is a way to go but I guess I’ll see in a year and a half!
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