word of advice about privacy - don't tell family

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hi guys

i am a 29 year old female, i did femoral LL here in the states and recovered well but want to give this piece of advice for those who wanna keep this procedure private

do not tell your family. if you have to tell someone, tell a distant friend, but not family for sure.

family members will talk with each other and it will never remain a secret. i am surprised how many people found out about my procedure because i told my sister. i told my sister and now my brother in law, my nephew, my grandma, my parents and some cousins know. i feel betrayed by my sister.

now they ask stupid questions all the time about this and they consider my bones 'fragile'. its super embarrassing. now the cat is out of the bag. i am considering telling my bf when we get serious because there is no other option (he will find out anyway)

if i had told a distant friend i could have easily cut ties with her and moved on, but with family, what do you do?

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Quote from: questfor on September 11, 2022, 04:58:12 AMhi guys

i am a 29 year old female, i did femoral LL here in the states and recovered well but want to give this piece of advice for those who wanna keep this procedure private

do not tell your family. if you have to tell someone, tell a distant friend, but not family for sure.

family members will talk with each other and it will never remain a secret. i am surprised how many people found out about my procedure because i told my sister. i told my sister and now my brother in law, my nephew, my grandma, my parents and some cousins know. i feel betrayed by my sister.

now they ask stupid questions all the time about this and they consider my bones 'fragile'. its super embarrassing. now the cat is out of the bag. i am considering telling my bf when we get serious because there is no other option (he will find out anyway)

if i had told a distant friend i could have easily cut ties with her and moved on, but with family, what do you do?

I mean I'm 5'2.5 and looking to do 5 inches. So if all of a sudden I show up much taller they're gonna know something is up. I plan on blaming it on delayed puberty, but yes do not tell anyone you're doing this.

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Did you tell your sister to keep it private? Also how much height did you gain?

The only real time family has to know is if you are a rich kid who has their parents pay for their LL, that's the trade off. Otherwise it's no one else's business.

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Hi questfor,

did you do the lengthening with the Precice Nail? Didn't you meet your family during the whole lenghthening and consolidation phase?

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hi i did stryde back in 2020. i took my sister's help (not financially but emotionally and she checked on me a few times after surgery). i met only my sister during my lengthening and recovery. i used my own money of course. i told her to not tell anyone. i had discussed this surgery with her a couple of years before (in 2018) itself when i was still deciding. i think she told people back then itself.

i understand it's not really her fault. her immediate family is closest to her and i am an outsider in the context of her immediate family. it was my fault for assuming that anyone would keep a secret like this.

in hindsight i could have easily hired some help, lied that i was going abroad and done it all alone. if i really needed some emotional support i could have told a therapist or a random friend.

i gained 2 inches . if i had never told anyone, i could have easily hidden it.

i regret this mistake every day. silly mistake but costly one.

this is hard enough to deal as a female (because being a bit insecure about appearance is considered more 'normal') but i understand most of you are men. so be careful who you tell.

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If you tell someone they will talk about it to someone else. Probably multiple people close to them.
Those people will then tell even more people, especially as soon as your name comes up.
This is inevitable. Eventually everyone will know.
Only way to keep it secret is to never tell a soul.

Or to talk about it with someone who has no links to your social world.

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Quote from: questfor on September 11, 2022, 04:58:12 AMhi guys

i am a 29 year old female, i did femoral LL here in the states and recovered well but want to give this piece of advice for those who wanna keep this procedure private

do not tell your family. if you have to tell someone, tell a distant friend, but not family for sure.

family members will talk with each other and it will never remain a secret. i am surprised how many people found out about my procedure because i told my sister. i told my sister and now my brother in law, my nephew, my grandma, my parents and some cousins know. i feel betrayed by my sister.

now they ask stupid questions all the time about this and they consider my bones 'fragile'. its super embarrassing. now the cat is out of the bag. i am considering telling my bf when we get serious because there is no other option (he will find out anyway)

if i had told a distant friend i could have easily cut ties with her and moved on, but with family, what do you do?

ultimate betrayal by the blabbermouth sister. she wanted to observe some drama at your expense. id say tread carefully when it comes to your future sibling relationship with her

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Quote from: boklecrt on September 11, 2022, 12:06:58 PM
ultimate betrayal by the blabbermouth sister. she wanted to observe some drama at your expense. id say tread carefully when it comes to your future sibling relationship with her

she is actually very dear to me but my guess is (and she admits now) that she forgetfully mentioned it in front of her immediate family (husband and child). i don't want to blame it on her. the stupidity is mine and mine alone. others cannot understand what this surgery means to some of us. and once people get married and have kids, that becomes 70% of their world and others become 'extended' family in a way. also since i took a little of her help during lengthening, she must have explained something vague to her husband back then. my mistake all the way.

i can imagine that the stigma would be much worse for males. i respect those who can own their decision and stand proud but i am not fond of a stupid quality of attention over this.

as meticulous as i am, i can't believe i missed such an important aspect of this procedure

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I concur with this.  My mom blabbed to a bunch of other family members WHO I DIDN'T EVEN SEE VERY OFTEN.  I could've lied and gotten away with it since I looked young for my age and a late growth spurt would've been believable.  It was for the other side of the family.  They still have no idea.

Trust noone, tell noone.

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How did you honestly expect to keep this private in the first place unless you did a very small amount of lengthening.  Even 2 inches is pretty noticeable.  Anything over and its obvious.