Anyone ever made up with exes? Need some suggestions!

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  Hey I am wondering if anyone here has ever succeeded in making up with exes, especially first love cuz I am now bombarded with negative emotions induced from letting her go. What's worse, after she broke up with me, I had harassed her for many times by e-mail and letter so I dunno how she is thinking of me rn, but it had aggravated the situations and I am more likely to make up with her.
  It was her that broke up with me, so if there is any romance expert on here, plz gimme some suggestions or maybe I can do nothing but to forget her.

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Quote from: ilovescience on January 15, 2022, 02:42:22 PMDoes her parents know this? If she complained to her parents it might be hard to 挽回這段愛情. Sorry gotta use Chinese, don't know the phrase for that in English.
Yeah her parents know this and in English '挽回爱情' is just 'make up'.

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Quote from: Upgrade on January 15, 2022, 04:41:46 PMI know it hurts, but you will get over it.  You will find another lift to live.   

What is stopping you from getting another girl?  If you can get one, then you probably can get another one.
Hey thx for your simple but meaningful suggestion! But I just cannot find any girls better than her and I know maybe I will never encounter with better girls.

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Quote from: drxboom on January 15, 2022, 04:44:26 PMNot with my first lover, but I had made up, when we were lovers again, it was never the same as the first time, we both got cold from each other and broke up without a fight.
I think if you ever did something that hurt her feelings or you ever did hurt each other's feelings then it tends to be more likely to break up for one more time after making up with each other. So that's why I am concerned about making up with her a lot.

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Quote from: 173to187USTORUSSIA on January 15, 2022, 08:47:59 PMMy suggestion is to stay in shape, make your life better and move on.  I tried to get my ex back and posted on the forums. It didn't work. Better to just start fresh with a new girl. She will always remember rejecting/betraying you. Once they do it once it is more likely to happen again. Just like cheaters.
I saw you posts and I felt sorry to hear your tragedy.. and afterwards your career was fked up by administrative leave.. I can feel your tough feelings mate.

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Quote from: Sambollio on January 15, 2022, 11:30:24 PMMy first love was the best I ever had. She was a 10/10 absurdly gorgeous. She had the exact same sense of humor as me and I could make her cry laughing whenever I wanted. Physically she was exactly my time and so was her personality.

Then I fked up the relationship, fell into a deep depression and broke things off. I came out of the depression and realized my mistake. For two years I tried to get her back and obsessed over her. It would feel like we were getting close again, and it’s fall apart again. I eventually gave up and 6 months past.

I was going away to college and on a whim asked her to go to coffee with me over text. She said yes and I was sooooo excited. The day arrived and she was just as beautiful as I remembered. We started talking and after a couple of minutes I started getting a sinking feeling. She had entirely changed her personality. She had become a massive narcissist, she was just talking   about everyone, even friends and family. She talked about how she thought it was strange she didn’t get hit on even though she’s super hot and other self obsessed topics. The only jokes she knew were tiktok memes. I eventually said I had to leave because I had to pee. We were 10 feet from a bathroom. We hugged I left and immediately blocked her. The end.

There’s a lot of lessons I learned from this that I’m too lazy to summarize.
People change like the weather does. So it is not a rare case. But I think the reason why she turned into a narcissist was just romantic traumatic experience and maybe you should find another opportunities to date her for one more time to confess your sins commited to her and ease her with your sincerity and bravery. Maybe you can witness some of her changes then.

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Quote from: Jayjames on January 16, 2022, 01:08:11 AMYou sound like you don't love this girl at all instead want to possess and control her. Her concerns and desires are being ignored and you call them "blah blah." Just move on and respect her wishes bro. Yes I've "made up" with exes before but it's been after moving on and changing then reconnecting not by never letting go and harassing them.

Getting her back won't even make you happy bc then all you're likely to do is be on edge about "losing her" again. Break off the pattern of obsession and try to be happy without her. Eventually, you will be but you have to let go in order to reach that.
Exactly. If she wouldn't like to reconnect me after she graduates, then I think it's of no reasons to still stick to her.

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Quote from: Jayjames on January 16, 2022, 02:27:20 AMYou're missing the entire point of my post. The point is that your view of the situation and her is extremely unhealthy dude.

You can't map out your life in terms of women and if they'll take you back. Once you let it go and just be a better, healthier person mentally you'll be surprised how many women flock to you.

It'll never get better if you keep fixating on getting her back now or some long plan to con her back after she graduates. Seriously this line of thinking is how i've seen dudes turn into stalkers and do some really fked up   without even realizing it.
Sorry, I got you. I will just feel a little upset if she ghosts me after graduation but I don't mean I will do something very extreme to her just cuz she doesn't reconnect me and keep me in her mind. But still have learned something from this romance and she is a good 'teacher' LOL.