I hope I don't come across as a giant with this post in this forum, because I'm not. And I hope you take my thoughts seriously. I don't know of any other place on the internet where you can talk openly about this topic, so here it is.
This is not about me, I feel fine with my height of 5'10" (178cm). It's about my relationship, genetics, future children and the happiness of them.
I treat every person out there nicely and with respect, unfortunately most of the world is not like that. I know it can be very hard in life for very short men. I hear this, observe it and read many reports on the internet about it.
If you are honest, heightism is the only form of discrimination that is still tolerated almost everywhere. Make a racist, sxxist, homophonic slur and you can lose your job, make it about a man's height and it's funny. I am aware of the subject, but now to my topic:
When I met my girlfriend (5'1" 155cm average height for girls in her country) almost 3 years ago, I did not think for a second about the topic of height. No problem for me, she is an enormously attractive and kind-hearted woman. But now, with the thought of a future family with (maybe male) children, the thought has settled in my head.
I have to say that I am from Europe and she is from Latin America (Chile). I worked there for a while and met her in this time. We lived together in her country and in mine. It's still had a long distance relationship, but without major problems.
The people in her country are all much shorter on average than in mine. What shocked me a bit on my last visit there in October 2021 were her two brothers, which I have not seen in 2 years (she traveled to my country in this time). One is 16yo, the other one 21yo and neither are appreciably taller than her, maybe 5'3" at absolute best 5'4" (160-163cm). Both are shorter than their father, who should be about 5'6" (169cm+-) (parents live apart, I couldn't see him the last time I went there).Their mother is shorter than my girlfriend, maybe 4'11" (149cm) and her grandma shorter again, maybe 4'8"/9" (143cm). I don't know for sure I didn't measure of course.
All are very kind people and I treat them with the utmost respect.
Nevertheless, I must say that men with the height of her brothers do not really exist in my country. And this is what scares me when I think of a future family with children and we may have a son who could inherits the genes more from her side. Personally, I don't care how tall my son will be to be honest, but he will care I guess. And you want to see your children happy.
It sucks hard, b a man who is 5'3" certainly doesn't have it easy in my country, he will be shorter than every guy and nearly most girls. So I have a lot of concerns about my potential children's happiness, especially if it's a boy. I see our future, if there is one, in my country as well.
This thought is killing me mentally for a long time, I feel really bad about it. Am I overreacting? What do you think?
Besides, I can't talk to her openly about the subject either, because I don't want to hurt her or her family. On the other hand, she recently told me about a friend of her who is very unhappy because he has a hard time finding a partner in Chile since he is short. It put me down, I know him, he's a great guy. If he struggles to find a partner in Latin America because of his height, how is that supposed to be in my country where people are far taller?
It makes me sad, angry and desperate that I even have to think about this topic and that it's a problem, but it's a tough and unkind world out there.
HELP: Concerns about height/happiness of future children/son (gf is short)
Quote from: zaozari on February 03, 2022, 12:33:45 AMYour male sons will be around 173/174 cm That would be alright. You must have used this height formula? I'm just really scared because her brothers are very, very short. In their country, they are one of many men with this height, in my country you would be by far the shortest.
Quote from: 173to187USTORUSSIA on February 03, 2022, 07:06:56 AMPersonally man, I wouldn't care about a girls height AT ALL IF we weren't having kids.
If I have kids, I only want sons. I want to raise tall super players that can successfully carry on my genetic legacy while plowing other men's daughters. If you only want daughter I say stay with this chick.
If and when I decide to have sons, it will be with a TALL woman, as tall and reasonably attractive as I can find, ideally 5'10. I want to create elite warriors that will have an easy life and be able to easily attract women in the dating and mating game - and sports, and life in general.How are you going to make sure you have sons? That's random unless you're doing sex-selective IVF and I think a lot of women find that creepy.
I don't need tall sons, just "normal". Being tall alone won't help them, but being significantly too short would become a problem i guess.
Quote from: Mulholland Dr on February 03, 2022, 09:30:17 AMIf short under -2SD of the average height then just inject HGH if not then just do CLL. Nothing special and you are so overacting to it.
Her brothers would be below 1st percentile in my country 
.
Do you think HGH will work? I heared different stuff about it. If the health insurance does not cover it, it would of course be an enormous financial task
Thinking rationally and ignoring love:
It's very hard what I'm saying now, but sometimes I think it's better if we break up and she starts a family there and I here. Of course, that shouldn't be the "official" reason, as it would be too hurtful.
Considering her family height, the risk that our possible son will be very short is very high. And I think if that happens the son would be happier in Chile than in my country where the average is 178-180cm (5'10"-5'11").
It's sad to think of this, but people are merciless when you deviate far from the norm.
Quote from: zaozari on February 03, 2022, 04:45:58 PMWhy instead of being concerned with a few centimetres, don't you screen right away your own "tall" genes to check if you may conceive a child with severe autism and severe handicaps? Concentrate maybe also in starting to learn how to be a good father which is not easy.
It would be sadly ironic if you find a "giant" woman full of those real bad genes.
First of all, I don't think it's a negative behavior to think about the difficulties your child could have. If height would be completely unimportant to most people, I wouldn't think about this topic for a second.
Quote from: zaozari on February 03, 2022, 04:45:58 PMPlus you (178cm) are below what you say is the average in your country (180 cm??). Are you miserable because of that? Why so? 2 cm? Get counselling before ruinning your life!
Nah, i am fine.
Quote from: Itsme on February 03, 2022, 05:06:42 PMFirst of all, I don't think it's a negative behavior to think about the difficulties your child could have. If height would be completely unimportant to most people, I wouldn't think about this topic for a second.
Nah, i am fine.
Yes, there are many girls around her height, even in my country. What got me thinking about all this stuff is, that her two brothers aren't that much taller than her. They're nice and smart guys, I like them a lot and they're making their way in Latin America. But i don't know if they would be happy here...
Quote from: zaozari on February 03, 2022, 09:47:40 PMThis is a Limb lengthening forum, not a family planning website neither for whom think of slightly short or short people (ie, the users and even his future sons) as handicapped or abnormal in any special country.
I think you dislike me for personal reasons and see me as an douchbag, which I'm not. Yes, it's a limb lengthening forum, but why does it exist and why here are mostly male user? Because of these ty societies. If height weren't an issue, this place and this surgery wouldn't exist. So I think it's okay to talk about the think i posted in the off-topic section.
Following is a different topic than my original post, but I have to say it:
It seriously needs a "height positivity campaign", just like body positivity, which almost only includes women. Check out the image search on google of "bodyposivitiy", it's 99% female only. There is a furniture store in my country that stopped selling bathroom scales this week because of body positivity, so that overweight people cannot let themselves be put under pressure when seeing their wight. The company uses it to apply, but only puts women in the pictures. I don't want to evaluate the campaign at all and see it neutrally, but something like that is needed for the topic of height. It would be great if none of that were a problem, as were other physical traits.
Quote from: zaozari on February 04, 2022, 12:53:41 PMIt irritates me also that you don't see that you are in reality, although totally convinced of your good intentions, more worried about yourself, not your future sons. And even this is an anonymous forum it shocks me your disrespect (no other word for it) you feel deeply inside and express publicly towards your wife.
The woman who probably loves you, lives with you, who smiles every morning at you, who makes love to you, maybe who cooks for you and maybe even cleans your **it in the toilet while you watch TV (ok, this sounds personal, you're right dammit!)
I (hope) I don't think it's about me. I could also say "hey, I love this woman and I don't care about (possible) sons, it's their problem". But wel,l maybe I'm thinking of myself a bit... because everyone wants to have happy children. And their happiness will be the happiness of the parents. A psychologist would have to answer that.
She's not my wife, she's my girlfriend. And yes it sounds and it is disrespectful and I'm not talking to her about it as I'm trying to be a kind person, believe me or not. That's why I use the anonymity of the internet.
Quote from: zaozari on February 04, 2022, 01:05:15 PMI forgot to say I agree on your second point. Decades from now, even certain current feminists and sociologists will eventually understand that heightism is a part of machism: one more point "obliging" women to be inferior and weaker. Biological dimorphismt don't explain it all. There's even domestic violence against men.
Heightism is also a primitive atavic manifestation of remembrance from the times when we were kids and looked up at adults. Many tall people live like prisoneers of that "animal" rational. But of course there's not any societal reality or explanation that "works" in 2022, or even 2032, to make society more "inteligent" and advanced. And definitly able to not make allmost all short people feel bad.
No comment on that, but I want to compliment you. I have read some of your posts, you sound like a very educated person. And that's something I rarely say to anyone, even though I'm also from an academic background.
Quote from: overandover on February 04, 2022, 03:41:12 PMDon't worry about your son. Be selfish.
Sadly I am not, hard to change.
Thanks for your long answer @PursuerOfHeight I read everything carefully!
It's a fked up and I don't find any solutions. The biggest problem is, that I can't speak with her about it without hurting her and that's the last thing I want. Even if I think that she can understand the topic. She told me once, how a male friend of hers doesn't feel well and has depressions because he is very short. I know him, when I was with her in her country I spent a lot of time and trips with this guy, a very nice person and it made me sad and thoughtful to hear that from her. fked up world, seriously.
All in all, you want a normal life for your children, with normal opportunities. I also don't feel the need to pass on my own genes. I've even thought about adopting children instead of my own, to to avoid the problem this thread is about. So you could also alleviate a little suffering in the world.
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