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Let's talk about the elephant in the room: Body dysmorphia

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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 9, 2023, 5:05 pm
#1
Im going to do the most i can to not gatekeep or underestimate the suffering of some guys because their height, but, here are some dudes willing to break their legs and spend above 50k being just a little bit under the average height where they live or even taller sometimes.
I mean, come on, some of you who are in a average range obviously have some social anxiety problem and your body its the main preoccupation about your aspect that trigger the anxiety.
Thats a psychological state that has developed through past experiences and it makes you risk your health huguley just to confront some body dysmorphia that a teraphys can cure in some weeks or months.
Im not talking about short guys, i understand anyone who is in the low end of the distribution and they are barely taller than women or even shorter... a lot shorter in some cases. But for those who are in the average range, CLL surgery its not the way, as a high risk procedure, not just really expensive, but risky, and if you think that a couple cm more will solve your dating problems or inferiority complex problems, the real matter its very likely in other thing, not your height.
Im not just a random dude in the internet, i have some notion about behavioral therapy and, even my english sucks, i know what im talking about if i guess that a lot of guys here have a severe body dysmorphia and a social axiety problem that can be solved in therapy, and after that you will no longer even think about this forum or going to some clinic in the other side of the world to do this procedure.
Again, im not talking about the short guys, as a (very) short guy of myself i understand that it's difficult to confront some things in life, mainly dating, but about the guys who complain about how much they hate being whatever height they are, in a CLL forum, being, well, just average height guys.
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 10, 2023, 3:46 am
#2
Quote from: TheDream on December 10, 2023, 12:14:28 AMIt’s an interesting topic. Almost all data on the subject shows that going from say 172 cm (5’7.5”) to say 179 cm (5’10”) has the largest positive result on increasing dating pool and perhaps salary.
Not what i mean, i start from the fact that this surgery is risky, expensive and it take at least 1/3 or a year since the start and being completly able to walk normally. If you are, lets say 5'7 in north america, yeah, i could be a problem to get girls most fo the time, but if you simply cant at all, its about other thing, not your height, but things you can change, like self care, beign more interesting, getting more practise in socializing and so on. If you are in the average range and you care so much about your height that you are willing to do this procedure, very likely you have some social axiety problem and and you body dysmorphia can be solved wih some good therapy, at the point you are not going to obsess ever again about your height at this point, just some ocassional "damn, i wish i was taller", thats all
Its totally diferent to guys who are even shorter than girls, lets say 5'3, this operation its equivalent to a guy in crutches being able to walk again without them, going from being totally different to other guys to entering in the average range, the shorter one, but the average anyway, its a huge change, it makes you feel normal.
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 10, 2023, 3:50 am
#3
Quote from: sxxa on December 09, 2023, 07:41:36 PM The taller ones like the shortest people won't see a sustantial difference in terms of looks in general, like that bodybuilder freak monstrosity who went with butcher Buldu, or for the contrary a 5'2 person who will risk A LOT to get the max height possible and still be short.


I cant disagree more, the shorter guys at that height, with ths surgery get out from being short in an abnormal range, to just short, like a guy in crutches bieng able to walk normally again, not able to run but walk at least.
Guys at 5'8 who are willing to do this risky and expensive procedurre just for being a little under average, have to realize that, if they are considereing this seriously, very likely the real problem its in other thing, not their height
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 10, 2023, 8:50 am
#4
Yeah, its about being normal, thats what is all about for the shorter dudes. Stoping being the outlier to enter in the shorter side of the normal distribution.
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 10, 2023, 1:07 pm
#5
Reaching a short but "normal" height after being an outlier all your life, its a huge change, even if you end up being just 5'5 after that, it's totally different than being 5'2. That initial height put you in a very unfavorable position, and plus 6 or 7 cm  is a whole new word. For just "under average guys" who want to be average or taller, is just an upgrade, not a life changing surgery.

What you are implying is that if you are very short is not worth it to do this surgery, you are a lost case, go to live alone in the forest.
Nah, we are talking about individual people and their willingness to live their best life, not some utilitarianism equation. And even if is that the case, the amount of "utility" its a lot more in my case scenario than yours, i think.
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 10, 2023, 2:33 pm
#6
Going to therapy literally will fix in little time the madness of guys above 5'9 doing a CLL procedure, they don't realize that their height neurosis it's literally a neurosis, something inside them and their subjectivity.
 If they say to other people irl their plans of breaking their legs to reach 6 ft, i dont think that anybody could take that like another thing than a weird joke
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 10, 2023, 3:42 pm
#7
Quote from: sxxa on December 10, 2023, 02:59:18 PMI personally don't see logic go from extremely short to really short, I understand for individuals it can be life changing but it still doesn't change the fact that they will still be short regardless, it's not easy to grasp but is reality. Wheter you like it or not.


It's a huge change between going from 5'2 to 5'5, you get taller than the average woman (or at least the same height), taller than the average child, height stop being a disability to make some things, and so on. To me, CLL in that range is it has the biggest impact, psychologically you stop feeling like a child to become "the short dude", and for any man that is life changing, life saving in some cases.
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 3:08 am
#8
Quote from: finertoga on December 11, 2023, 01:12:16 AMI guess it depends on how you measure benefit. If you take simple quantitative measures like income and number of dates/rejections, then I would agree with you. But how do you measure bullying? Would someone measure the number of negative comments they receive on a daily basis? How about the number of times height is mentioned in conversation? How do you measure “feeling like an outcast”? The point is that these measures are hard to quantify and thus we don’t have good data to compare at various heights, but that doesn’t mean these aren’t important.


This
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 3:41 am
#9
Quote from: RB on December 11, 2023, 02:02:38 AM}

To give some context, when I was 5’4” I used to receive multiple comments about my height per day mainly from people I knew but sometimes complete strangers. I always felt like I wasn’t taken seriously in certain situations due to my height despite having an attractive face and other things going for me. It turned out it wasn’t in my head because after getting to 5’7”, my interactions with people have completley changed and my height is no longer so glaring and th first thing people notice about me. I’m still short, but I hear comments about my height maybe once a month or less now compared to daily and when I do hear something it’s more along the lines of a light joke, whereas people used to refer to me as tiny and juvanalise me before and it used to bother me so much.

}
Literally what i mean in this post. For guys who start that low its life changing in the way you end up the surprise in others of meeting someone that short. Its not about getting more girls or things like that, but feeling normal.It's an exaggerated but similar comparition that Finertoga did, you are not going to be totally like other dudes after a face reconstruction cosmetic surgery, but at least you will stop being treated like a freak, an outlier. You are going to be a short guy yeah, but inside what is usually considered short, not eye-opener kind of short
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Metaphyglv
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Posted on Dec 13, 2023, 7:32 pm
#10
Yeah, is astronomically more life changing going from very short (as me) to short than going from short to just under average, and this at the same time its a lot more life changing than going from under average to average of slightly above average.
Its about not being always the guys who main feature is being short, and which the first thing others see in you its your size.
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