Log in Register
Home Forums Members Calculator Research CME
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: The information provided on OrthoLength Pro is for educational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult with a qualified orthopedic surgeon.
← Back to Off Topic

Do tall friends and relatives try to talk you out of doing LL?

A
Apparition
Member
Posts: 387
Joined: Apr 2018
Posted on Apr 20, 2019, 2:25 pm
#1
Two of my best friends are tall white women (178cm/5'10" and 183cm/6'0" respectively). I confided in them that I wanted to do LL to reach 183cm/6'0" or at least 180cm/5'11" so I could stop being short and recover my self esteem and confidence. They both started trying to talk me out of it, saying stuff like "you'll never be able to run fast or exercise again if you do it", "if you're making enough to afford it you're already not one of the wage gap disadvantaged short people", "you'll still be unhappy after you do it, you'll still be comparing yourself to natural tall people and taller people than yourself", "you could use that money on yourself so many other ways", "I would feel really bad if you got crippled for life", etc.

I know they care a lot about my well being but I know for a fact they at least passively enjoy their own tall heights and as tall white women, they have absolutely zero idea what life and society can be like as a short Asian guy (...aside from a parallel dating disadvantage which is still contextualized differently because tall women are at least statistically advantaged at everything aside from dating while short men are disadvantaged at everything). I don't think it's fair for them to try to stop me considering that they're happy about being tall themselves and have never had to be way below average height, or below average at all.

I know my current height is already "not really that bad" as far as things can go, but 169cm is still only the 10th male percentile in the western world, and I was actually 165cm/5'4" for the great majority of my post-puberty life until a very late 4cm "growth spurt" got me to 169 at all.
Like (0)
G
GrowTow
Member
Posts: 345
Joined: Oct 2018
Posted on Apr 20, 2019, 4:27 pm
#2
I don't think it helps your confidence having such tall friends that are women. Here in the Uk the average height for a woman is 5'5-6. So you have ended up with possibly the tallest possible duo friends out there.

Height surgery shouldn't be done to help your personality out etc.. If you're having dating problems now, you're going to continue to have them. I'm 5'4 but I do wear 2 inch lifts so lets say i'm 5'6. I have no problem with women. I will be doing this only for the height increase.

You seem to be blaming all your problems onto your height. They'll be no difference if you do that.

I'd suggest you lengthen up to 176cm which 5'9. Average height in the UK and USA. Also you should realise every man on this planet adds 2 inches to their height. You may think 5'9 will be short. But it will be 5'10 with regular shoes. Plus, people will tell you you're 6ft simply because they're 5'10 too but tell everyone they're 6ft.

Like (0)
M
myloginacc
Member
Posts: 249
Joined: May 2018
Posted on Apr 20, 2019, 4:53 pm
#3
I don't think ~170cm is short for a lot of Asian groups.

Think pretty heavily about LL. Your friends are right in wanting you to think this through.
Like (0)
B
Betagur7
Member
Posts: 153
Joined: Dec 2018
Posted on Apr 20, 2019, 5:06 pm
#4
So you are basically 5’6-5’7. Roughly same height as me. I’m black btw and I experience the same. I don’t plan on telling anyone about getting surgery because I know they’d react the same way your friends did. Being short and male seems like something people can sympathize with ONLY if they are short and male too.
Like (0)
M
myloginacc
Member
Posts: 355
Joined: May 2018
Posted on Apr 20, 2019, 6:01 pm
#5
Most people here will still feel short at anything under 5'11 if they feel short at 170cm, which is only below average. The BDD here needs to be talked of more seriously.
Like (0)
A
Apparition
Member
Posts: 11
Joined: Apr 2018
Posted on Apr 20, 2019, 10:26 pm
#6
Quote from: growtow on April 20, 2019, 04:27:20 PMI don't think it helps your confidence having such tall friends that are women. Here in the Uk the average height for a woman is 5'5-6. So you have ended up with possibly the tallest possible duo friends out there.

Height surgery shouldn't be done to help your personality out etc.. If you're having dating problems now, you're going to continue to have them. I'm 5'4 but I do wear 2 inch lifts so lets say i'm 5'6. I have no problem with women. I will be doing this only for the height increase.

You seem to be blaming all your problems onto your height. They'll be no difference if you do that.

I'd suggest you lengthen up to 176cm which 5'9. Average height in the UK and USA. Also you should realise every man on this planet adds 2 inches to their height. You may think 5'9 will be short. But it will be 5'10 with regular shoes. Plus, people will tell you you're 6ft simply because they're 5'10 too but tell everyone they're 6ft.

I'm not blaming problems on my height actually. I know I have a lot of insecurities and I'm working on all of them at the same time. I've learned to live with some insecurities and I'm working my way through the others purely mentally, in therapy. Height is the only thing I cannot mentally get over and I don't blame all my life problems on it. I brought up examples of problems because short men are statistically disadvantaged at every aspect of life, which is true.
Like (0)
A
Apparition
Member
Posts: 196
Joined: Apr 2018
Posted on Apr 20, 2019, 10:31 pm
#7
Quote from: myloginacc on April 20, 2019, 04:53:30 PMI don't think ~170cm is short for a lot of Asian groups.

Think pretty heavily about LL. Your friends are right in wanting you to think this through.

I never made it to actual 170cm, my ethnicity's average height is 173 and I spent most of my life at 165. I only found out literally weeks ago that I had late final growth to 169 and was no longer 165.

170 isn't unusually short among Asians but it's in the range of "your entire race is all short and you are just as identically short as the rest of your race" from the perspective of taller races. It doesn't feel good/better just because other Asians are short too.

Like (0)
M
myloginacc
Member
Posts: 326
Joined: May 2018
Posted on Apr 21, 2019, 12:36 am
#8
Pretty sure 170cm is basically the average male height for our species, and some groups (namely Northern Europeans and East Africans) are a lot taller than the average.

Still, people like Jeff Bezos never allowed their height to hold them back. You guys can keep crying here forever about how short you are at 170cm, for all I care. You all can either learn to accept your bodies or go get your bones broken for a year.
Like (0)
A
Apparition
Member
Posts: 113
Joined: Apr 2018
Posted on Apr 21, 2019, 1:09 am
#9
Quote from: myloginacc on April 21, 2019, 12:36:03 AMPretty sure 170cm is basically the average male height for our species, and some groups (namely Northern Europeans and East Africans) are a lot taller than the average.

Still, people like Jeff Bezos never allowed their height to hold them back. You guys can keep crying here forever about how short you are at 170cm, for all I care. You all can either learn to accept your bodies or go get your bones broken for a year.

Dude, I'm not even full 170 and I was 165 for the vast majority of my life. I'm below average in both countries I have citizenship in. I'm still the second or third shortest guy I know. 169cm is more accurately 5'6.5", which I'm sure the vast majority of people here would still agree is short enough to be read as short. And I am aware part of it is a mental health problem and I'm not under any illusions that becoming taller will change anything in my life aside from my mental health.

I've seen you be fairly civil and empathetic with almost everyone on this forum, including my previous post, and including the guys here who are naturally 5'11"-6'1". Why are you being so abrasive with me?
Like (0)
M
myloginacc
Member
Posts: 360
Joined: May 2018
Posted on Apr 21, 2019, 4:52 pm
#10
Sorry about that. However, I disagree with the notion 169~170cm is short. There are billions of men at this range. There's clearly a lot of BDD being perpetuated here. Somehow, 175cm is an average height where height dysphoria goes away for most posters, but they're short, disadvantaged, rejected "manlets" at 170cm. A 5cm difference. I'm starting to think this is almost as bad as the men who are 5'10+ and still want to get this. I apologize for the rudeness; I'm just completely done with that mentality.
Like (0)

You must be logged in to post a reply.

Related Topics

Statistics
  • Total Posts 126,934
  • Members 4,125
  • Online Users 32
Upcoming Webinars
Latest Active Topics