Even though i'm so fkn obsessed with my height as much as I want to kill myself almost on a daily basis, I'm not sure if i can do LL, it's my one and only option.
A week ago, I went to see the doc to check my blood values. I'm not even afraid of giving blood, nor am I afraid from blood collection needles.
While my blood was filling the tubes, I focused at the tube; normally it really is not recommended to look at the tubes while giving your blood because it might cause instant pressure drop.
I was happy, I looked at the tube and told the nurse, "Well, it's so weird. The blood is filling the tube too fast." and after that I laughed, then suddenly, I passed out.
I didn't even realise that I passed out cause everything was going smooth, as soon as I opened my eyes I realised that I passed out because the nurses and my mother were anxious. As soon as I woke up I smiled and said that I'm good, then they told me that I passed out. I was shocked, first time me passing out btw.
The point is, even though I focused at the tube, it's still very unlikely to have a pressure drop I guess. I feel like my body is too sensitive.
I also thought about the catheter, even writing the word "catheter" made me feel nauseous. That's how sensitive my body is. If I won't be able to deal with the tiniest thing about the procedure, such as having a catheter, how the hell am I going to have the surgery and have a MODIFICATION into my legs while knowing it for such a long time? I feel like i'd feel nauseous all the fkn time.
The worst thing is, there is NO goddamn option but LL. I want to be taller and fit the goddamn clothes. I don't want to wear thick as fk shoes. I cannot even put my vans, because its height boost is low.
I feel like suicide is way easier, please don't trash talk. I'm being reasonable. I don't think I can handle this procedure, but as I mentioned before, this height neurosis makes me want to kill myself. I literally feel angry and agressive all the time just because of my body. The only reason causes it is my height. I need to change it, but in some other way.
I just wish that there was a pill which could re-generate your goddamn growth plates.. just imagine. No fkn osteotomy. No fkn nails.
What should I do? Does anyone have ideas? How can I not be a pxssy? I try to think about those people who did both segments lengthening, how did they even handle it?
Best Regards, sorry for the puke out. I just had to.
I'm up to any kind of responses. Just please comment whatever you want while knowing that I'm a human being and I have feelings.
I actually had seen a psycholog about my other issues related to my girlfriend. He had 0 impact on me. I'm not that kind of a person who would get better after therapy, I guess. I'm stubborn as hell even though I'm trying not to be. It's just my subconscious.
Yes, you are thinking in the same way as I do. But there is a problem.
I'm on my last year of the high school, have to take an uni enterance exam in 10 months. I have to re-vise all the 4 years of the high school just for that exam. So, it's going to be a fast tempo. I wonder if drugs would completely fk me up.
But there's another thing, i cannot even study because of having suicidal thoughts overall, not just about my height. There are several issues. Not like, family or anything. It's about me seeing the life itself in a different way. "Everything is purposeless and stupid" kinda way. But If i was taller I could feel like a god and at least have fun lol..
So, as I can't study properly at this time, I think I could give a shot to the drugs; what do you think about this?
Thank you all so much for paying attention and replying. I'm grateful. Yes, this place makes me even more obsessed, it's right. But it's great to have the idea of being able to "grow taller" even with a surgery, reading the diaries etc. It just gives me hope. That's the reason why I'm attached to this forum.
Also O_99, thank you for the response. I have seen the LSJL "thing" and read about it but unfortunately my english is not good enough to understand most of the terms about bones, etc. I couldn't understand a lot. So I'm kinda ignorant of that topic. If you could explain it in an easy way, I'd try to see what is going on.
Best Regards
edit: I'll try to get in touch with a reuptable psychiatrist.
Quote from: drxboom on August 27, 2020, 02:06:33 PMThe psychologist will not be able to find a solution to the height obsession, care should be taken when choosing a lover, our height obsession inevitably increases. I have never been afraid of the blood catheter but the ll frightens me.
See the psychologist anyway. Wear elevator shoes, but I know when you see someone taller than you, you'll be depressed again.
It's not the blood catheter, It's the urine catheter. But yes, elevator shoes can't do nothing. It's like, tricking yourself.
Quote from: ghkid2019 on August 27, 2020, 02:09:07 PMAgain, it's not about curing height neurosis, it's to stop him from wanting to goddamn kill himself and be extremely depressed.
I'll try it. I hope it helps without fking my brain in a worse way than actual (drugs). Maybe it'd help.
Quote from: ghkid2019 on August 27, 2020, 02:25:23 PMIf you ever need to talk, DMs open. I am here for u
Thank you so much ghkid, the forum needs more people like you. You are such a nice and informative person. I wish you the best in your future. I hope you could achieve your dreams.
Hey,
I'm sorry for not digging into the details of myself but you guys misunderstood some parts of it. You are right, I was not clear at all.
I've been in a relationship for 2 years. She's incredibly pretty, but she also caused me to have some psychological problems which I'm not gonna explain. (not physique related LOL, she thinks my height is perfect.)
Nobody called me short, I'm not as old as you are. I'm probably half of your age. I hope this does not change how you see me, I'm not a dumb kid. I'm mature for my age. My growth plates are already fused, have not grown since last 2 years. Not even a 1 mm. So please consider all of that.
I've never been bullied or anything, I've always been the "chad" one. There is a thing most of the people don't get. I don't want to do it just because people don't take me seriously, I can't find girls, I can't be social etc. All of them are cool in my life. Just, sometimes I can't be social because I'm too embarassed to stand when there are taller guys than me.
Nobody has guts not to take me seriously irl lol, I seriously don't know why but people tend to respect me. I'm stating, not bragging. I fkn hate myself. Face doesn't mean anything. Height is all that matters.
As I said, nobody ever called me short. Everyone called me the "most handsome guy in this high school". I'm not that type of a person who would care about girls, being taken seriously etc. Because in my whole life, I've never faced to face situations like that.
The thing is, I'm perfectionist. I just hate this life because everything is perfect now, despite my height. This social media crap digged into my brain that tall people are superior. I'm into fashion, I wear good, I have taste. Just following fashion pages on Instagram even made me realise that I cannot pull anything off. I just want to be taller and I could even be the alone guy. I can't imagine how much self confidence I'd have if I were just 4 inches taller. I could feel like the god himself.
There are tons of thoughts, opinions like that from the deepest point of my heart. It's not about anyone. It's about me, myself. I'm pretty sure most of the people won't be able to understand this and will say stuff like "Wow, you seem to have an amazing life, got a great girlfriend, everyone thinks you are handsome, nobody called you short, you need to change your view about your height!"
No, sir. Seriously no. I just want to increase my standarts. I want to be the guy who is cool as hell while walking down the street. I want to be 20 times better than I am now. I'm pretty sure it would change everything. You can't imagine how good I look while standing on my toes and wearing my leather jacket. I stand at 180-181cm while doing it and I swear, everything changes. I do it 10-20 times per day. Wearing my clothes and looking at the mirror. I feel like a stupid crap, then I boost my height; I become fkn perfect.
It's all about "Doing it for myself" kind of an opinion. Nobody could ever change it. I'm sorry for being this stubborn. I need to be taller. Then, I could FINALLY enjoy this fkn unnecessary life.
edit: I see a lot of people want to have this surgery to be short --> average. And I SEE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE AVERAGE ---> TALL. I know it'd make a good impact on those people who were short, later they became average. But imagine, I already have a good wingspan, huge hands etc. Why would I not just be a TALL guy? Why? Everything would be perfect.
second edit: If i were like "well my height bothers me, but idc at all meh" type of a guy, you could say that "I should change my point of view" but i'm saying that my height makes me want to KILL MYSELF every single goddamn day.
third edit: I'm not narcist or anything, I just want to be perfect because we only live once. I'm not an egoist guy or something like that, I always see myself as a fkn crap. I just want to be perfect as my standarts.
Quote from: dal216 on August 27, 2020, 07:46:04 PMPerfect eh?
Well 5’8 isn’t perfect aesthetically I grant you (poor Robert Downey Jr must be miserable) but why are you focusing on those 4 vertical inches specifically? Surely there are other things you can work on to improve in the mean time.
How’s your body? I recommend a DEXA scan to see. 10% body fat or less is ideal, with enough lean muscle mass to fill out the pecs abs and biceps. If you plan on wearing shorts I would work on some chiseled quads and glutes too, the ladies love that . Sometimes your genetics fk you here too, and perfect stats won’t get you the exact look you want (think brad Pitt in Troy) but plastic surgery will sculpt you to the ideal proportions once you’ve put the athletic work in yourself.
How’s your face? No no, not just your complexion (although a solid skincare routine should be a given if we’re aiming for long-term “perfection”) - I mean your ratios. Take an unfiltered neutral face close up with a decent camera (not ur iPhone front camera lol) and print it out. Measure your ratios with a ruler - (google golden ratio measurements for men and follow the instructions) and see how close you are. If you’re off by more than a few percentage points it’s time to go under the knife again!
Now you’ve got a chiseled body and a sxxy face. Almost done. Don’t neglect your Hair (and nails). No one likes a bald dude; prevention is key here. Otherwise, style and maintain correctly.
Alright, chiseled body, sxxy face, luscious hair! Got money? Money is always sxxy. You’ll need it to buy fashionable clothes that accentuate your body, a kickass car to pick up your dates in, a rocking pad to bring them back to, as well as bottle service at the club, and fk you money to spend on drinks. Dress and tip to impress.
Might wanna tune up the old brain too while you’re at it. Intelligent people make witty comments in multiple languages. You’ll probably at least want to speak the language of the supermodel you’re chasing, be it Italian, spanish, French, etc. They come from all over these days.
By this point you’re chiseled, handsome, stylish, wealthy, intelligent. If you can’t walk into any nightclub in the world and feel confident as fk then that’s slightly concerning at 5’8. Def. Consider sawing through your legs at that point and growing 4 inches over the next year. dck size won’t change at all though 
You totally misunderstood my point and willed to leave an ironic comment. I don't even know how to reply to this.
The "perfect" thing, as I guessed that someone would misunderstood it, it came true. You misunderstood it.
It's about seeing myself perfect. My face is not mathematically "perfect", I definetely don't mean that.
I have little flaws overall, but they are not even worthy to pay attention. But height is the most significant beetween them.
By the way, if not ugly, anyone who is tall could seem to appear insanely attractive by just wearing good outfits. Keep it in mind. Just needs an average face.
Jesse, thank you very much for the realistic and at the same time kind words.
First of all, I believe that if someone can handle the first LL, he/she should do another one if they want to re-gain their bio-mechanics well. Because consider that, my tibias are slightly short for my height, and adding 6-7cm on femurs would make them even shorter; and it would cause bio-mechanical problems. That's why I feel like I have to do 2 surgeries, if i can handle the first one.
Despite that, 5'11 is a great height where you start to seem really tall from distance. I don't need to tower over people. I'm not that maniac about my height. I just want to appear tall.
That's the reason why I want 185cms. 7+5 seems to be perfect for the bio-mechanics, if everything goes smoothly.
Also, there are several reasons why I cannot do it. First of all, I'll be an uni guy next year. I gotta get prepared for my uni enterance exam. Second, money. Third, I need to wait some time to leave the Turkish LL performers develop themselves such as Halil Buldu etc. then I'll have better opinions about them, and decide one of them.
Best Regards
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