I allow myself to post this here, I can't find more appropriate place for this.
My height dysmorphia takes control over my life. I can't sleep at night, I can't think about anything else.
The injustice and lack of support does not help. When I see taller woman than me, my soul leaves the body and I get avalanche of suicidal thoughts. I can't see the light and I can't see the end of this suffering...
I did million times try, I visited psychiatrists/therapists but they did not hear about dysmorphia, nor they can help me.
I am feeling so low, my only point was to go trough lenghtening procedure, but when I will be ready, realistically is 1-2 years.
I wanted to be a model, my whole life. But it requires to be 175cm-180cm. I am circa 160cm. So.. yeah
I am saying clearly that I am unhappy about my short height that does not let me to be a model... it's only thing I am passionate about. I am trapped in child's body.
The whole situation is way too hard for me, I am vulnerable to any kind of mental disorders, I developed anorexia as a teen to make my legs look longer, as thinner... this eats me like a cancer ,since many years. And the vision of situation that does not progress pushes me even more to the ground.
This is what makes me even more depressed because I AM aware of that. Looks like situation with no escape
Thank you for good will, but I often come to that place where I see no point of trying. Full of frustration, very angry.
I am 22 years old.
There are days when it is too much. So I posted to get a bit off my shoulders, I hear voices in my head/ people from the past/My family on a constant repeat that point out my height. I noticed that taller women are mostly admired or just unique, and I look like anyone else, yet my height and look in overall are commented in negative way and it stuck in my mind. Frustration that comes with it is horrific.
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