My height has taken over my life. Help me.

Hello everybody. I am 16 and I am 5’8. I know I am not supposed to be here on this website but please hear me out. I need some help and I know that you all can support me since you all have the same issues as me. I have undergone severe depression several times, I went to 7 different doctors, and I tried suicide nearly 6 times. Nothing is working out. My height has taken over my life. I have never seen youth in my eyes because I am so fixated to my height. I cant explain you the feeling. My mind just shouts to me: taller, taller, taller, TALLER, TALLER, FUC**NG TALLER YOU BIT**. Every night before going to bed, I cry for at least 15 minutes. Same thing in the mornings. It’s actually funny because if I was just 5’10, I would be very happy. Although it is not tall, it is not “short”. Please just ask yourself: What kind of man are you if you are under 5’9? 5’9 here is average. When I look at someone that is 5’9 or 5’10, they sort of look tall to me. I look in the mirror and all I see abouy my self is someone with a short torso, short legs, short arms, week bloodline, bad genetics.... I just cannot take it anymore. I can’t continue living like this. I wish someone could just shoot me in the head. Funny what a couple inches could have done. I promise you that my height, 5’8, is not tall at all. I am sick of this torment. I do not get bullied over my height and it is not a relationship problem. In fact, I do not get bullied at all. I have more muscle then a gorilla. I bench press 310 at just 16. But I would rather give up the muscles I have trained for (4 years) and be fkI** 1 INCH TALLER. WHY DOES THE WORLD HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS? Can any of you feel me? At all? Should I undergoe this surgery and be happy for the rest of my life? I have a 4.2 gpa and I am looking to being a software architect in the future. They make at least 112k and go up to 200k. I will have a lot of money to get this surgery. I am planning on lengthening my tibia 1 inch and my femure 1 inch. I want my legs to be proportional and balanced. Are there going to be any problems after this surgery? Can I still be able to squat and deadlift the same? My muscles are just stretching... I don’t think it would make a big difference would it?

You don't need me to tell you this, but you have a problem and it goes much deeper than dissatisfaction with height. No reputable doctor would operate on you, as you think height is a matter of life or death, and that is not what cosmetic surgery is about. You need to spend more time with a therapist to sort these issues out, because suicide attempts over an inch is unreasonable.

I'm not convinced that you'd be happy with that additional inch either. I believe that you would have latched onto another trivial feature about yourself. If you got limb lengthening, maybe you'd obsess over your proportions or scars, no matter how minor. It's self-loathing, and this is precisely what cosmetic surgeons want to avoid: a patient that's impossible to please that may end up hurting themselves after the surgery.

Logistically you're far too young for limb lengthening, as you're still an adolescent. The silver lining is that you're still developing, which means that you may very well grow in stature. You're at the age in which males complete puberty, but your hopefully severe mood swings indicate that you might still be in transition.

Take a deep breath, you're young, and realize that you're taller than the majority on this forum. We're older than you, we're not suicidal, and we're living good lives. Let that sink in and face the real issue at hand, which is your own opinion about yourself. We are our worst critic, but it's irrational to end your life for something that can be overcome with a different pair of shoes.

If you need someone to talk to, visit these sites.

United States
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

International
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Come on, you are just 16, still have years to grow taller. Just be patient unless the doc says you are not going to grow anymore.

I should mention that I have fully stopped growing at 15. I started puberty at age 10. It is over for me. I got an xray and my growth plates are closed. And no, I would not obsess over scars because I already have 2 and like I said I am planning on lengthening my upper and lower leg 1 inch each. I do not think 2 inches will make a “disproportioned” body. Some models have super long legs and short torsos. And I have been to therapists before. Nothing changed. I promise you that I will be happy if I am 2 inches taller.

Focus on your life and building that career you mentioned. You can come back and get LL later after you have the money. Set that as your goal and remember it's not hopeless, when it very well could be in a majority of other situations. Use that goal and therapy to steer you away from suicide.

Well, if you say your growth plates are closed then you are no different to most of us on this forum. Next up is clearing up the "to be or not be be" qusetion.

Then get LL, how many years do you think it will be until you able to do it though, femurs are really expensive. I would just go for tibias, esp if you only want 2 inches, you can do it no prob. Best part is you will be able to afford it within a few summer jobs

I mean if want femurs you'll literally have to wait until you graduate college and get your first career job, so in like 6-7 years

So you just plan on being miserable for the next 7 years until you get LL?

I''ll tell you what, I am suicidal because of height as well, even at the moment. And I'm also telling you,human don't have a solid reason to live and life is meaningless, period. 
BUT think about this, if you are not afraid of death, in what way you would be afraid of the LL?? Save money, try it and next time when you are suicidal, it should be the time after you had a fked up LL.

Quote from: observer on January 20, 2018, 05:50:21 AMI''ll tell you what, I am suicidal because of height as well, even at the moment.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get better.

Well Blue, if you've stopped growing, that's that. I hope you feel blessed that your starting height is a good one, among us anyway. Some would even discourage you from surgery in the first place, and I don't blame them.

Like Zeo said, just get 5 cm (2 in) done on your tibias and you're set. Spreading a mere 5 cm across tibias and femurs is a big waste of time and money. Your proportions won't be affected much either at this amount.

Just remember that height isn't everything, because being a tall loser isn't great either. So study hard toward becoming a software engineer, save up, and continue working on your image issues (reminder: there will be a psychological evaluation during consultation). If you have a good relationship with at least one of your parents, talk to them about your problems.

In the meantime, I suggest you try some height increasing insoles. It'll allow you to experience what you're dreaming of (hopefully it's everything you imagine it to be), and it's a good way to gradually get your peers to get used to your new height if you do undergo CLL.