What's your story? Ever overcompensate due to stature or physique? I have, but didn't really identify it as the cause until years later.
I had so many bully problems growing up and the problem was compounded by the fact I moved homes/schools 13x before I was an adult. I was always the outsider and perceived as shrimpy post 6th grade. I remember once in a boy's locker room, 7th grade, I almost threw down with some football player because he took my free lunch token. We got in each other's face and he inevitably threw it off to the side and confrontation avoided. Then that same year some 8th grader who hit puberty a lil too early came running up to me during lunchtime out on the field and got me in a headlock. Had no idea who he was or why he was doing that. But he lifted me off the ground with his arms under my shoulders and hands on the back of my neck and swung me. He then dropped me and had the nerve to ask if I were "cool" with it and laughed. I had no friends ofc and always felt like an outcast, so I brushed it off and said sure, sure (I will always hate myself for that). It was soon after that I started to lift and get into shape. I never consciously knew why. And since then a complex developed from that day, building up over the years. I was no longer going to take s**t from anyone. I got into the best shape of my life and I'm pretty sure my unimpressive stature was the cause behind it.
Here's a webcam photo of me 3 years ago (21) when I was in my best shape (lil less now). Nobody bothers me and my wingspan is fit for a much larger guy. I promised myself to fight back until my last breath, against any obstacle and in any form. You're never defeated until you admit it to yourself (Bruce Lee).
http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb480/MeerFantom/Untitled22_zpsd9840a30.jpg
Then I couldn't get a job anywhere after graduating college. I was either overqualified for casual jobs, under-qualified for professional jobs (that required 2+ years interning in some cases when I needed money immediately to live) or I just didn't have the "look" they wanted. In one group interview I was the only one wearing formal attire and gave formal, thorough responses to everything. One tall guy there didn't know what manhole cover was (it came up during our questions) and was dressed like he just came from a pot session. The group interviewers said they would call us all back that day - but I never even got a call back.... I went there weeks later and saw that guy had the job. The rage was seething. I figured well, people might feel awkward around a sharply dressed shorter guy that could literally tear your heart out and has more accolades and skills than the manager. Would I have gotten the job if I were some lanky guy with no ambition to dethrone the manager? I applied for other simple jobs (this was when the job market went to hell) and attended interviews, yet never got ANY chances at all. It was official, my "Napoleon complex" was killing me. It was always the taller, less impressive guys getting the job!!??! WTF? Which made my condition worse. So I stopped trying to play their game. To make a long story short, I created a publishing company and authored several of the first books. It has taken off, slowly but surely, and I could actually live off the passive income. I contracted others now and want to build it into a giant someday, but I feel like I wouldn't have to if I didn't have this "complex". I'm so sad inside, forever alone and facing the world. Also had to learn to temper myself around girls otherwise they would be suffocated by me and recognize I've a massive complex. I have TONS of silver-gray hair at 24, no joke. How are shorter people expected to live longer with so much f**king stress? I would trade everything I've worked for to have been born an average sized guy with a stable, average life. That is the sad truth for me and why CLL is a godsend if I can get to it someday.
Thanks for reading this rant if you did, glad to just get it out. Got some stories to tell? Make me feel better.
One similarity between our stories (other than the obvious) is we were all outcasts in society (due to race, socioeconomic status, and/or moving to new places) before height even played a large role. Then we developed more passive, introverted personas that go aggressive in the face of disrespect or challenge. I think the reason some short guys are totally confident about their stature is because they didn't have these other issues to make them so highly self-conscious and analytical of their surroundings. If we had a stable childhood and adolescence with culturally identical and respective peers, would we still feel this way? I'm not sure I would.
"And then you see it was your height that got in your way for many things and not overcoming that adolecence view of life and step into adult persona"
I still feel like a teenager sometimes, especially in public, because all the 13-15-year-olds nowadays are my size. Ever feel awkward standing next to some 14-year-old who's taller than you yet you have all the features of a man while he's a child? That feeling sucks and is even embarrassing sometimes. CLL in some respects can be seen like a "graduating" to adulthood.
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