Great updates 
getting closer to when you can go home. Do you use any messenger apps we can talk on? You could message me and i can make account if i dont use it. Want to hear your progress and talk about everything LL from time to time with you
@yerzadotru I‘ve sent you a pm
6th-10th day post op:
Hi so it turned out the way I though it'd be, the day is so packed with stuff that I barely find the time to update anymore. This is the reason why I am reporting back so late. Sorry for that. The last few days have been pretty similar. I will give a quick overview of different things.
Walking and mobilty: My walking is excellent. With crutches I can walk normal, I can even keep up with normal walking people, even if they walk fast. I can walk very fast. As an apology for updating so late I made a short video of me walking on exactly day 7 POST OP. So if you want to check it out, this is day 7 post op. On a flat and safe ground I can keep up with normal walking people. Link -> https://imgur.com/a/DaXnNj0
My mobility is getting better each day, thanks to the PT I now can move down to the floor, put on my shoes and socks by myself, pick up stuff from the floor, kneel down. Also stairs are now possible, going down is smooth, going up's still a bit exhausting but it gets better and I can now do it consistently.
Clicking: the 6th day was horrible. Right leg clicked smoothly, left leg was full of pain. Whenever I twisted it my hip started hurting from the outside towards the inside/groin area in a labor pain type style. It was pretty bad and for whatever reason emotions shot through me like I started crying, laughing, about the absurdity of the situation I am in, about the pain and the unique tingly feeling of the nail. Very weird experience. It can be compared to giving birth, well now at least I can say I am one of the few males on Earth who experienced that. Gotta experience it all, right? hahaha. Tanja told me clicking is a lot about your mind and she was very right about that. You need to not tense your muscles at all and just let your knee drop in to click. If you tense up just a tiny bit it doesn't work at all. So you need to relax and let your hand guide the movement. Big mental thing, I can understand why it's scary to some but you need to think positively about it, think of something relaxing, keep it cool and then it goes down smoothly. On the left leg it was super hard though because pain automatically means you tense up due to the (neurological) feedback mechanism of it. Tanja helped me a lot mentally and it made a huge difference. On the seventh day she built a contraption for me to click easier. Essentially we knot a band/scarf around the triangle handle thing over my bed where I could then rest my foot in the air and then click by just grabbing my knee and pulling it in instead of bending the leg and then dropping the knee. This is better because it means less movement in the hip and less rotation, it made a huge difference. The next few days my clicking got much smoother and less painful by the day, yesterday I could click both leg in 45 min, today it was 37 min. My right leg goes really really smoothly. I must say though 20 clicks a day is a lot for the body. The first click is the most painful and then after 15 it is also getting painful. After 20 clicks the legs get really heavy and feel weird, uncomfortable. Throughout the day it gets better/back to normal though.
Routine: Wake up, brush teeth, breakfast, PT and or stretching session, clicking, PT and or stretching session, lunch, short break, sometimes PT, stretching session, dinner, short break, stretching session, go sleep.
It's rough.
Pain: My pain is very low, now that clicking is better I don't have much pain anymore. The most pain I have is when I wake up in the morning (I sleep 8h, waking up 0-1 times a night). After lengthening I have slight pain and stretching also needs to hurt in order to be effective. The first 2 days of doing 20 clicks a day I had pins and needles already, on the top of my right foot. Only very subtle when I moved around but it went away on it's own after 2 days.
PT: PT consists of walking exercises, mobility exercises (learning to get up from the floor, kneeling down, etc), walking stairs and massage. The massage is to reduce tension and it works better than the muscle relaxant pills. It's really helpful and I tried booking more appointments, could only get one more though. The stretching that I have to do is really excessive though. It's like hard 1h-1h30min workouts that make you totally exhausted and that 4 times a day. It's brutal and honestly my energy is so low that the free time I have I spent just sleeping, resting, at max watch a short video in bed. Laying down feels like such a blessing because I am always so exhausted. Note; active stretching is the most important part. You need to lengthen your muscles next to the bone, else you are screwed. Your success is highly determined by stretching and they will tell you that a lot. I also noticed that in the morning before and after clicking my energy is so much better and my stretching sessions are more sufficient. You need to stretch hard, it has to hurt, and while it is uncomfortable it is also relieving because if you do it right your legs will feel like jelly afterwards and you feel lighter and more normal again. I noticed that already. As of now I have to say in the afternoon and especially the evening I am so tired I sometimes can't finish my set, or do it poorly. It's so so so so so exhausting.
Loneliness: Yea the rehab is good and PT is great, plus you have a lot of equipment to work with but the routine and not having any time, not seeing my friends and family is making me feel so lonely and sometimes I do have bad downs. I just have to push through those. It's tough though. What I also want to note here is that I am getting really annoyed by the elderly hitting me up 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely 100% understand them, they are curious why a young guy like me is here (I look much younger than 21 too), they feel lonely too, they just want to connect. I am not mad at ANYONE. However, I am talked to literally at leat 5 times a day. Usually it's always the same conversation, why I am here, if I had an accident, what surgery I had. While I am not a shy person who doesn't want to talk, I am quite the opposite actually, this is getting too much for me. Occasionally it's okay and I did connect to a few of them who were nice and not prejudiced about LL but most of the time it's just really really forced shallow small talk that I don't really need, ESPECIALLY (!!!) when I am super tired after a stretch workout or in the evening when I just want to be for myself. Like literally, they are sometimes waiting for me at the end of hallways, random people that just want to ask me why I am here, when I go to the gym (PT/stretching) I now always wear headphones (unless I meet my other LL friend) and avoid eye contact, still that doesn't stop a lot of people just saying stuff to me. I once went for a little walk outside with Tanja, finally some fresh air and green around me, we sat on a parkbench and 5 seconds later an old lady sat right next to me and started talking while I just wanted to relax for a moment and enjoy the tranquility 
. I know I know I am a bit overreacting to that but I do need a bit of time for myself and since I always stretch and train in the gym (it's just better there than in your room) I am surrounded by people a lot. Plus LL is tiring and exhausting and you feel like resting a lot, so not always in the mood to chat with someone. And hey a few days ago I had a nightmare in which old folks where crawling through my window in the middle of the goddamn night to ask me about what surgery I had. I almost thought it was real but it was just the rain pounding on the window smh. Well, don't want to sound too paranoid so let's stop talking about it xD.
Important to note; this is obviously nothing that's an objectively bad thing (of the rehab or anything), it's just super personal subjective stuff so you definitely won't experience it. The reasons I do are; I am a bit sensitive to that in general, I am really bad at dodging conversations, I am super young looking and I speak german. If one of those four things doesn't apply to you, you won't experience it for sure. Anyways part of me is now looking forward to be going home haha.
Going home: I need to check every box of a checklist to be able to go home. There are a few factors like, being able to click consistently, showing a sufficient stretching routine, being able to walk stairs, being able to sort in your meds, etc etc. First (because of stairs and initial clicking problems in the left leg) we contemplated of me staying longer but I got into clicking and learned stairs quickly in the last days so now it seems like I will go home next week. I am really looking forward for that. I think my parents will push me in terms of stretching. It is less ideal to see Becker and Tanja just via videocall but hey in those times that's not too much of a hinderance anymore, right?
What I am afraid of now: I am recovering very quickly, main reasons: young age (very important), healthy pre op, skinny (maybe a bit of luck too). While skinny is bad in terms of everyone losing weight during lengthening, it is really helpful for the process. The worst condition is bodybuilder legs. more muscles need to be stretched, tendons are shorter, it's overall tougher and for the surgery they need to cut through more. Betz and Becker told me that as well. Fat is also bad because less agile legs. I am in general very happy about my progress and so is my team but today after I requested it Becker showed me some videos of patients who had very bad duckass and wide legs and damn that looks grotesque to say the least! I am afraid I will walk like that even with IT band release and if I stretch a lot, Becker told me it's due to bone lengthening overtaking muscle lengthening which is not catching up anymore. The frontal and lateral muscle groups being too short for the femur will pull you down and lower legs out. If I walk like that though I can't leave my room, I will be like the hunchback of notre dame. So let's keep pushing the stretching sets and avoid that stuff.
Tiredness: I am so tired and exhausted the entire time. While in the past I felt sleep is for the dead and a "waste of time", and I was pushing late nighters, going out with friends and loving the night life, etc. I now go to sleep at 11 pm at the latest and sleep is the thing I look most forward too. It's so blissful to just lay down after a long tiring day. So without further ado, thanks for the reading, have a good night! See you.
Hi RealLostSoul! Great diary! I wish you a fast revovery!
Do you know when Dr. Becker did his first LL surgery at the Betz Institute?
Quote from: Limbfan2020 on September 09, 2022, 09:28:58 PMHi RealLostSoul! Great diary! I wish you a fast revovery!
Do you know when Dr. Becker did his first LL surgery at the Betz Institute?
Hi yes he told me once, I think he joined 5 years ago but I will ask him again. Can‘t quite remember. Stupid meds haha..
I enjoy reading your posts!
Your walking is very impressive with the crutches for only 7 days post op 
Do you normally have to use a walker to get around? Or are you already allowed to use crutches to walk everywhere?
Man you're impressive.
Your walking with crutches is really really good.
Keep on going, I think you're among the best I've seen so far in terms of recovery.
Great updates your doing so good. You'll be home soon and life will continue. Very soon the rehab clininc will be in the past, hang in htere. Really looking forward to reading your posts.
are those shoes they give you for exercise? they look very comfortable and nice.
did you bring compression pants? or did they give special ones?
How many days of clothes did you bring? Do they do laundry for you?
Quote from: thankscience on September 10, 2022, 01:57:51 AMI enjoy reading your posts!
Your walking is very impressive with the crutches for only 7 days post op
Do you normally have to use a walker to get around? Or are you already allowed to use crutches to walk everywhere?
Thanks.
No walker. Didn’t even get one. I know no one who got a walker here. Crutches since day 1. That’s how I walk around everywhere. Generally for lengthening it will be like this: no crutches at home for short walks (to the bathroom eg), one crutch at safe places and when you need your other hand to hold stuff and 2 crutches in public places or outside. I already start training walking with one crutch at PT.
Quote from: OzBoy39 on September 10, 2022, 06:39:16 AMMan you're impressive.
Your walking with crutches is really really good.
Keep on going, I think you're among the best I've seen so far in terms of recovery.
Thanks
Quote from: yerzadotru on September 10, 2022, 07:13:44 AMGreat updates your doing so good. You'll be home soon and life will continue. Very soon the rehab clininc will be in the past, hang in htere. Really looking forward to reading your posts.
are those shoes they give you for exercise? they look very comfortable and nice.
did you bring compression pants? or did they give special ones?
How many days of clothes did you bring? Do they do laundry for you?
Thanks !
- Haha no those are my shoes I bought them because they don’t have laces and I can just slip into them and they are comfortable. Honestly I could tie my shoes for myself now though.
- no they give you everything. The white pants you see aren’t the compression pants (those are black and I got rid off them at this stage already). The white pants lay underneath (apparently helped with swelling and made the compression pants more comfortable and stabled the bandages I think) and weren’t uncomfortable unlike the real black pants who were strapped up to my belly button. Anyways got rid off the white ones now as well.
- enough haha. Yea you can do laundry here but I have enough clothes so I didn’t think of that.
Hi guys, some update. Today is day 15 post op and i drove home yesterday.
Going home: I was getting used to the rehab and I must say if you find friends there it‘s really nice. Going for a walk with the other LL patient and stretching together was really motivating. I was sad to leave my LL friend and few other friends I made there. I will certainly miss them. One of which I am hopefully going to see again once we are both recovered . Anyways except the monotonous food I was sad to leave the rehab.
The going home was horrible. 10h drive with stretch stops every 30 minutes because the stiffness of sitting in a car for that long was getting unbearable. It was so exhausting and I just fell into my bed and slept once I arrived.
Sleep: I slept 8h, awoken thrice, once was to go to the bathroom, twice to switch positions. I can now sleep on all sides and feel like except back everything stretches a muscle group and releases some tension. Stomach-> hipflexors. Side -> laterals. I found side to be quite useful tbh. Overall I sleep better in my bed.
Uni: I went to uni this morning for 2h (with crutches obviously). It was much better than I expected. In terms of movement I could do everything, even stairs was no problem, I could keep up with the others in terms of walking. All the people there were really nice and helped me with doors and chairs etc even though I wouldn‘t have needed it haha. Quite a handful of people asked me what happened, I told them knock knee surgery, everyone bought it. A few people I know vaguely came up to me and talked to me (not only about my health) which I really enjoyed. I am used to going in alone and leaving without anyone giving a damn. It‘s nice to get a little attention after being a ghost for years.
Outside world and anxiety: Immediately after I was out of the rehab I noticed that the outside world is full of suboptimal stuff for people on walking-aid. Bumps in the street, stairs without railways, steep hills, etc. It‘s all doable but honestly fuels my anxiety, which is ravaging right now. I am so anxious of breaking something, doing something wrong, fcking something up with Dr Becker being so far away. My hypochondria is as high as ever and it takes a toll on me. I want to note here that I am very thankful of Dr Becker and Tanja responding to me as soon as possible and helping me with my nerves and answering all of my slightly stupid questions without getting mad haha. I think I will get used to this new environment with my situation.
I am also slightly anxious about encountering my neighbours at the staircase. I have to walk up to the second floor, no elevator, and I will definitely bump into some of them someday. After being to uni I noticed I can just say the same made up story to everyone but I am a bit fearful of one particular neighbour. He is old, fat long hair, never showers, creepy guy that forcefully talks with everyone and doesn‘t let them go. I hope I can avoid him but honestly it‘s up to luck. fingers crossed.
Clicking: Never would have thought that a new setting can change clicking so drastically. I had the worst clicking today. My left leg was as easy as ever (which was the tough leg before). We build a replica of the contraption I used with the same band and it worked fantastically. The right leg however (which I clicked in 7 min before) was cramping and hurting so fcking bad I felt like dying honestly. It took me the entire afternoon to do 20 clicks and it was so painful. 8-9/10 pain with every hip movement. Tomorrow I will try the band technique for the right leg.
Urology: A bit private stuff but worth noting for prospective LL patients. I have two urological annoyances. The first is due to the muscle relaxants I can‘t hold back peeing that well. I noticed that once I feel the need to use the bathroom I need to go because if not I happened to slightly piss myself. Was super awkward but hey the brightside of it is my prostate is probably not enlarged yet haha. The second one is more so putting a toll on my mental health. I am physically unable to m*sturbate due to numbness. Ever experienced SSRI induced sxual dysfunction? It’s exactly like that but perhaps even stronger. Can’t wait to get rid off the meds, especially the pregabalin.
Height: As you you can imagine I was curious to see if I notice something when I return home. Only done 1.5cm so I didn’t expect much but it was very disappointing. I actually feel shorter than pre op right now. Next to my father, at uni, at home. First I thought it’s maybe because I wear flatter shoes than usual but no it’s the same at home too where I never wore shoes. I checked if I am higher at the marks in my house but no I am actually a bit under them (like a cm or so). You may assume those marks are incorrect but no way, I measured myself a million times, even other people did. My house is full of marks and scratches like an insane asylum (leftovers from very severe height neurosis). They were accurate and I am below all of them. I think it’s because I am hunched, especially on crutches and without I can’t really stand that straight because of my back, something with the hips or whatever. I feel weak and can’t be as upright. I don’t feel I can stand that straight. So I hope it’s that and not that my nail inversely distracted and shortened the bone (haha jk). You can imagine that this was a big bummer to me. The only positive thing is I lost only 1-2 kgs instead of the predicted 6kgs but still the height is pulling me down right now.
Regrets: not regretting anything the only thing I regret is not doing it earlier. I should have done it with 18-19 and now tibias. The process drains my energy so much and I have quite the downs but I am still very happy to be where I am. Crutches aren’t annoying me at all.
Meeting friends: Tonight I met friends at a small welcome back gathering. We ate some food and played video games, it was nice but similarly to the car ride I felt the uncomfortable stiffness crawling on me after sitting around for a while. I had to get up and stretch. Couldn’t stand still for too long. And I got really severely tired. Couldn’t hang out long into the night like before. I feel like an old person who needs to urgently rest. This kinda makes me feel depressed but it is what it is. That was part of the pact.
Update. 48 days post op
Hey guys long time no hear, I am currently at like 4.4cm and the reason why I didn't update this is simply no time, no energy, no motivation. I will try to do monthly or weekly updates from now on depending on the importance of new things coming up.
Let's start with the positives:
- clicking became easy and almost painless. At around 4cm it became no problem at all anymore.
- stretching became a routine and I now have a good bodyfeeling of the parts that I need to stretch. for me side is the most important followed by hip flexor followed by quads.
- I went down to 14 clicks (= about 0.72mm/day), the tension got much much better. it's a day and night difference to 15 clicks. I would say rn it's bearable. and soon I can reduce the meds finally. I had aching hip and knee pain before I reduced but now it's gone.
- my parents help me so much, when i am tired they help me stretching, they give me massages often as well. its very helpful.
- PT is 2x a week and very helpful to loosen the muscles
- disciplined stretching pays off so much. for example at about 3-4 cm I couldn't stretch the sides that much because it was so painful, I developed quite some wide legs but in the last week or so I have been heavily focusing on side stretches and I removed them entirely and I can fully close my legs while walking now. Although after clicking its always a bit worse I can revert it to 0 before the next day clicking. stretching is the most important thing and if you do it consequently you can avoid issues (same goes for duckass and frontal stretches). My LL buddy at the rehab who is stretching 7h a day can walk basically like normal during(!) lengthening at 9+cm. It's my inspiration and proof that stretching is the key to success in femur LL. i'm a bit too tired to upload a video of me walking rn but it's good. almost as good as in the beginning, but i have definitely longer legs now .
- cognitively it got much better now even though I only got rid off pregabalin yet.
- I now see the difference in height and it's so astonishing, words can't describe it. You are a new person. I feel so much better in my own skin it's a bliss after years of misery. I am so looking forward to normal life after LL.
- I reached the 6' mark^^
the negatives:
- Number 1 bad thing is sleep. Sleep deprivation is killing me. Waking up once after 5h and then every hour is terrible and after a while it gets you physically and mentally. with 14 clicks it's better but still... you need to go to pee, you need to stretch hip flexors at night... it sucks.
- second worst thing is meds. I want to reduce them now because I feel it in my entire GI. I feel nauseous often, I can eat little, I have soft stool and stomach ache. It's eating me up. And yes I obviously take stomach protectors, it's just too much after a while.
- before I reduced to 14 clicks I felt the muscles pulling on my hips and knees and damn that pain is terrible. the broken bones feeling is 99% suppressible with pain meds but for that pain meds do barely anything. it feels like being stabbed with a knife tbh. thankfully its gone now that made sleeping impossible. stretching helps with that too btw but not immediately like with tension, it's multiple sessions to get it down.
-> rather just take the 14 clicks, although it sucks to think that the process will now take almost 2 weeks longer. but it is what it is... important advice!!: don't count down the days, if you have to slow down they add up again which is terrible for the mindset. just take it day by day and don't think about when exactly the end will be.
- 4h of stretching everyday is a lot of work and still really tiring and monotonous. although now my parents build a contraption where i can roll a table over my bed and use my pc in bed. so after clicking and stretching sessions in the morning I play WoW in the afternoon and evening. it's like a few hours of the day escaping from LL, best thing for mental balance. plus meeting friends once a week is a relief. I would recommend everyone to get something you look forward to everyday in what you can escape mentally for a while.
- My sexuality is still not even remotely close to normal. I thought it's the pregabalin but no... Maybe it's the combination of all drugs, plus body's in healing mode, not eating enough, bad sleep etc. Well, I accepted being impotent and unable to beat my meat (it's like a soft noodle) for the lengthening now. I hope it returns quickly after I am done here though.
- uni is impossible lol. I don't know who can work or study during femur LL, it's impossible. I don't have the time because of the stretching, no energy because of the sleep and meds. Becker thankfully wrote me a confirmation so I can push all exams of this semester to the next. That was a relief, now I can focus on recovery entirely.
- sometimes i am regretting not doing tibia. tibia patient has much less pain after 2-3 weeks, can already walk without crutches while i will have to bother with that for quite some months, no duckass wide legs to fight, much less stretching to do, less clicking struggles in the beginning etc etc. if you want an easier process do tibia. i will at least have it easier for my potential second LL somewhere in the future . I will definitely go to becker / betz again btw if I want tibia, but first I will want to recover fully and live life a little bit. I am thinking about maybe tibia 2 in years... who knows. let's take it step by step....
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