Posted on Nov 9, 2014, 12:43 am
#1
Are you naturally shorter than your father or mother? If so, has this contributed significantly to your height neurosis?
Personally, I am somewhere around 3-3.5inches (7 to 9 CM) shorter than my father, which led to me frequently feeling as though I wasn't as much of as a man as him while growing up. I no longer feel that height determines manliness, as stupid of a concept as that even is, but, being shorter, I often feel inadequate, and as though I didn't meet my expectations of myself as an adult, even though everyone in my circle of family and friends has always told me that my height it fine, even though I am the shortest male, and that I was/am a wonderful person and so on.
Furthermore, I always felt too submissive around my father and taller male relatives, and, in my late teens, was felt really awkward about not ever "measuring up" to them, meaning that, when I failed to achieve as much in an area as they had at a given age, I felt inferior, both physically and mentally. I once felt that I could never become the man, inspiration, and leader my father was to me and others with a noticeably shorter height.
I also witnessed most of my friends growing taller than their fathers while I remained much shorter than mine. This, too, contributed to my feeling of inadequacy and being "different". I can definitely say that the height difference was a big factor in my development of height neurosis and self-confidence issues during my early years.
Years have passed, and I've since conquered the self-confidence issues and am very happy with the direction my adult life is taking. I do realize that my feelings were irrational and I have come a long way in becoming the person I dream of being. My father and I enjoy a very healthy relationship. I do not feel that my height is holding me back much, if at all, but my height neurosis still remains and I still beat myself up about height and get jealous of other people who are taller, although I don't act on those feelings besides participating in this forum and contemplating LL. I did go to a psychologist and they did nothing to get rid of the height neurosis. They confirmed that I am not depressed, and I am otherwise quite mentally healthy and stable. I just happen to have strong height dysphoria that I'm absolutely sick and tired of.
Can any of you relate? How did your own height differences compared to family members affect you mentally?
Personally, I am somewhere around 3-3.5inches (7 to 9 CM) shorter than my father, which led to me frequently feeling as though I wasn't as much of as a man as him while growing up. I no longer feel that height determines manliness, as stupid of a concept as that even is, but, being shorter, I often feel inadequate, and as though I didn't meet my expectations of myself as an adult, even though everyone in my circle of family and friends has always told me that my height it fine, even though I am the shortest male, and that I was/am a wonderful person and so on.
Furthermore, I always felt too submissive around my father and taller male relatives, and, in my late teens, was felt really awkward about not ever "measuring up" to them, meaning that, when I failed to achieve as much in an area as they had at a given age, I felt inferior, both physically and mentally. I once felt that I could never become the man, inspiration, and leader my father was to me and others with a noticeably shorter height.
I also witnessed most of my friends growing taller than their fathers while I remained much shorter than mine. This, too, contributed to my feeling of inadequacy and being "different". I can definitely say that the height difference was a big factor in my development of height neurosis and self-confidence issues during my early years.
Years have passed, and I've since conquered the self-confidence issues and am very happy with the direction my adult life is taking. I do realize that my feelings were irrational and I have come a long way in becoming the person I dream of being. My father and I enjoy a very healthy relationship. I do not feel that my height is holding me back much, if at all, but my height neurosis still remains and I still beat myself up about height and get jealous of other people who are taller, although I don't act on those feelings besides participating in this forum and contemplating LL. I did go to a psychologist and they did nothing to get rid of the height neurosis. They confirmed that I am not depressed, and I am otherwise quite mentally healthy and stable. I just happen to have strong height dysphoria that I'm absolutely sick and tired of.
Can any of you relate? How did your own height differences compared to family members affect you mentally?