So in my lonely days during the consolidation period i have had way to much time to think about things, mostly depressing things to be honest, all my friends and other young people are out and having fun while i will spend majority of this summer in my house in isolation. Fortunately there have been a lot of rainy and gray days so far this summer.
Anyway one thing i came to realize that is a big deal in my life right now, is that no matter how much you like a girl or enjoy being with her, you should never accept the friendzone if you get there..
First of all she expects you to accept her terms while she refused your terms, and when you get down to it, regardless of what explanations or sugar coating they might say to make you want to be friends, she still thinks she is better than you, and too good for you. I personally would never want to hang out with someone who made it obvious that they think less of you.
I was debating wheter i was gonna get in touch with a girl i mentioned before who not only friendzoned me, but constantly made it very obvious that she thought she was "above" me. She got a bit humbled after i ditched her and she tried to get me back, and while i really wanted to see her in person with my new height, this thing simply takes way to long to get done so at this point i just hope i will run into her some day, just so i can put her down a notch.
So i guess id like to know if some of you guys still hang out as friends with girls who you liked but didnt want you? if you do, how does it feel? (im talking from a guys perspective but i realize that girls probably get friendzoned to once in a while)
yes of course, i have female friends too that im not interested in, but also some that i would "do" if given the opportunity but i dont even go there because it would be akward and the friendship is good as it is.
However if i have tried to get someone i wanted and get refused, then i could never agree to hang out with that person anymore, its just humiliating to be honest.
The thing that really sucks in my case, is that im fairly confident that this specific girl im referring to would have been very attracted to me if i had been:
1. taller
2. dressed better
3. more muscular
4. more "status" (measured from facebook and instagram likes i guess)
And the only reason i didnt dress impressively and work on my physique was because of my lack of height..and status/popularity would have been pretty easy to get if you had all of the other 3 + good looks. It would be much easier to talk to random people this way.
She already told me several times i was good looking and that she loved my eyes etc, but she didnt want to be intimate with me because when that happens usually you lose contact with that person pretty quickly (in her experience). But that was just sugar coating im almost certain of. Because as soon as a guy with more status and height appeared she went for it. But yeah she lost contact with him pretty quickly.
So the problem is that there is a good possibility that the "first impression" makes it impossible for me to get her even if i get all the other things i lacked when i met her, but there is a small possibility that she wouldnt be able to resist me if she saw the new me 
. But i dont know if it is worth trying unless i see her by chance when im out.
Quote from: IamAndrew on June 05, 2014, 11:01:57 PMYou say you don't like being friends with a girl who put you in the friendzone, since it's them seeing themselves as better than you, but then you put females in the friendzone? What if one of those female friends is interested in you, would you cut them off?
Idk her, but it's not wrong having opposite sex friends. They're great for advice about the other gender and for opinions.
Anyway, if it makes you feel better, I spent 22/24 summers doing nothing too. And the 2 summers I did something were for a week at a time. I didn't even have a choice with the sucky life too, moving 13x as a kid and now living out in the middle of nowhere and work alone= my social life and opportunities have been cauterized.
Also, +1 to KirP1's post. If she friendzoned you cuz of your height then she's not worth being anything more than a friend anyway. Dun be bent up about this IMO.
Well I have never put a girl in the friendzone, the only times i have "rejected" girls where at parties or random hangouts where i just had met the girl and they made some kind of advance on me, i didnt say right out that i wasnt interested but i usually make up some excuse and walk away. Girls i have known for a while, if some of them did like me, they didnt make a move or ask me out, so no way for me to put them in the friend zone. I wouldnt expect such a girl to want to hang out with me if i flat out rejected them though.
The thing is, im a very proud individual, and i would never take advice from a girl on how to pick up girls, partly because i dont need their help, i have pretty good success rate actually. The other reason is that just accepting help from a girl implicates that i need their help and that im not any good at it, so i wouldnt do it even if i needed help because of pride, especially not from a girl who rejected me.
And btw, i quite a lot of good summers, of course they could have been much better because i always had some problem in the back of my head, but i managed to ignore it at times and enjoy life. Socializing and seeing girls, but i never felt i was the person i wanted to be so of course i was depressed at the same time. Im sorry if you had so many unpleasant summers 
But this girl, she didnt necessarily reject me because of height (she is really short but possibly she has a height complex and only dates tall guys) but i noticed her giving more attention to the tall guys at parties compared to others and myself even though i had known her for a longer time.
Ah crap.. seems this girl i mentioned has gotten a new boyfriend.. i dont know what he looks like but it annoys me that she seemingly is still enjoying life as much as ever while i cant do anything yet. Im starting to think that she wont care enough about losing me unless i get reallly high status at this point. Well at this new height its possible but maybe its to late and i dont think it will be worth all that effort. god dammit.
Quote from: GROWtalORdieTRYING1 on September 24, 2014, 10:47:52 PMI think you should view this as a new start to life. and focus on the future instead of the past.
im sure you will get all the status you want and all the girls you can handle when your back to 100% 
good luck wannabegiant, and I wish you a speedy recovery
Hey man thanks for the encouragement 
, youre right i should focus on the future instead. and yeah ure right, not ancient but a lot has changed since my last comment here.
it seems this girl wasnt in a relationship with that guy, and now she is doing some abroad study program in Bali with some friends, but interestingly, she hasnt uploaded any pictures on her fb or instagram despite having been there for over a month. Her two friends she traveled with have updated both of their fb and instagram with photos regulary, one of them do it several times a day.
This girl i like is tagged in a few of her friends photos which they uploaded of course, but i find it weird how she isnt uploading anything her self and not commenting on any picture. When i used to hang out with her she posted lots of photos all the time. She started to change around the time i ditched her, but honestly after all this time i thought for sure she should be back to normal, but as mentioned she is still not acting like she used to in regards to social media.
I cant help analyzing this stuff when im in my current condition, fortunately it seems i might be able to remove these frames within 2 weeks from now.
Quote from: Shor7Guy on September 24, 2014, 11:42:12 PMHow much did you lengthen and what was your starting height?
I was 174-175 cm, now i am 178-179 cm. So its a decent gain, enough to be noticable but not so much that it will be obvious i did some surgical incision, only my close friends would realize the change immediately i think.
I live in Sweden though, so now i am close to average height here, and taller than ca 95% of women id say.
Quote from: Taller on September 25, 2014, 12:27:33 AM
That is awesome news! How is your walking at this point? Do you still feel especially attracted to this girl?
How do you plan on beginning to increase your social value now that you're taller? I am about your new height and I can tell you that a great social life doesn't happen automatically at 179. You've got to really work towards it. I think that's the case at any height though.
There's no doubt in my mind that it will be easier to get to where you want to be, socially, at 179 than 175, but having a plan of how to get there would still go a very long way.
How are you going to reintegrate into your old world?
My walking inside houses (floors) is very close to pre-surgery level, and i can make it look 100% normal with a little bit of extra effort, no pain and legs feel quite light despite having the frames on. Walking outside on sloping ground is still a bit tricky though, but its improving and im sure with the frames removed it will instantly get easier due to not having he ankle pins in the way.
About the girl...yes im very attracted to her physically, that hasnt changed a bit.., her personality is entertaining also, but unfortunately i have many negative thoughts about her after how she treated me like a loser at times. Its a dilemma, part of me still wants her despite knowing that she probably isnt the right girl for me, even though she appears to regret her behaviour..
Yeah true im aware that being average height wont give me any significant social value automatically, however i have a very unique appearance, and i plan to add lots of muscle and train mixed martial arts as soon as i am allowed to. I will look like a guy that you dont want to mess with since i have a masculine menacing looking face, i dont intend to act like bully or douche (i hate that sort of thing) but i know that if i look tough i will get respected even if the other guys have 3 times as many likes on their photos as i do.
Also i dont have any trouble talking to new people, its just that im to proud to initiate new conversations with new people sometimes and if i notice that i have to work harder to get noticed i usually stop trying, but im sure i wont have to work nearly as hard in that regard now, which will make me more motivated to meet new people.
Also with the height problem gone, i can finally focus on doing things i should have done many years ago if i wasnt depressed..things like getting a drivers license, finishing my university program, dress more nicely, add muscle mass as mentioned, stuff like that..
Also i dont necessarily care to be super popular, i doubt il ever get there but it doesnt bother me. Considering how ty most of my life has been in comparison to most people where i live (at least those i know) im sure il be able to appreciate being decently popular more than the average dude who didnt have to work for it at all.
Quote from: GROWtalORdieTRYING1 on September 25, 2014, 12:52:08 AMcongrats on 2 weeks left, the finish line is in sight. I skimmed over you diary also.
it always surprises me how long it takes to start walking again even after consolidation 
Thank you man! Yeah true although it still doesnt feel like it is almost over due to the fact that i probably will have to be so careful the first weeks without frames (even if they tell me the risk is very low of anything happening i will still be paranoid about it). Also getting back into my normal life will probably be difficult at first, many questions from friends to deal with probably.
Yeah i agree everything about this surgery takes much longer than i initially expected, but i think 2-3 months from now i will be able to walk completely normal even outdoors.
Quote from: Shortie on September 25, 2014, 04:18:56 PMYou worry too much man , becarful don't let your mind drive you too much thinking about the past isn't good for you at all and you will gain nothing , how did you know she rejected you cuz of your height ? If I was you I would fouces on what I'm doing now think about the future get in shape imagin your self in 6 month from now how woul you look like how your life gonna be , and trust me you will be happy .
Yeah i know but this girl is kind of a symbol of why my life has always been crap since my teens started.. all the bad luck i had back then made me lose so much in terms of life experience, and even up until now i am still affected by that, i lack the popularity of many guys including many who are substantially uglier than i am, and while status wasnt as important when i was younger now it is really important if you want a beautiful girlfriend and an eventful life.
But im not saying height was the primary reason she rejected me, to be honest i didnt have much of anything when she met me. I didnt dress well, i was skinny, i was shorter than average, i didnt take care of my skin as well as i should have, and i had barely any photos on facebook/social medias (and those i had where really bad and not really representative of how i look).
So im not surprised at all that she friendzoned me, in fact i wouldnt even have talked to her in normal circumstances but she actively started calling me and wanting to hang out, I acted confident around her most of the time but deep inside i just knew she wasnt interested in me in a sexual way, and i didnt take long for me to find out that it was true either.
She treated me without any respect at times, but im not sure it was intentional, but regardless if i had taken better care of my appearance before i met her im certain things would have been different (who knows height might still have been a dealbreaker).
She seems to regret it since she was desperate to get me back after i stopped hanging out with her, but eventually she gave up because i said something hurtful to her. She probably thinks i dont care at all about her anymore. Im curious if she would act different around me now though since by the time she started adulating me i had started to dress a bit better and took better care of my skin and hair, got some much better photos uploaded too and more likes (status lol). Im not popular but at least i dont seem like a total loner/loser anymore on social media.
I know that with my new height, and with some muscle and fancy clothes, im easily on her level in terms of physical appearance. I will probably never reach her level of popularity though, its to late for me for that, unless i become very successful in my career or something.
Im to proud to just call her out of the blue now since its been so long, but i hope i run into her some day. still im trying to focus on the future instead even if she wont be a part of it.
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