Thank you for sharing Ned. This post was truly eye opening. I appreciate your raw, honest perspective on this experience as it helps prospective LLers like myself make informed, balanced decisions around this procedure.
Just have a few questions regarding the below:
Quote from: ned_flanders on May 20, 2019, 08:44:01 PM
I was a very happy person before LL. I did not struggle in any aspect of my life, was surrounded by caring family, plenty of friends and everything else. The only thing that nagged me was, what if the height neurosis I had before, returned later in life and tore me apart? By then I would probably have had settled down, formed my own family and it would be too late to do this surgery.
Because of this “limbo” phase which lasted many years, I always backed out of relationships when it got too serious. I was afraid of losing the opportunity to do LL.
Your height neurosis and "limbo" you described here sounded serious, I know because personally I connect with it. I 100% believe you when you say you were happy before LL, but it sounds like the height neurosis was a crippling mental health issue for you if you backed out of relationships because of it and held you back from some of life's most significant milestones (relationships, marriage, maybe even kids, etc.)
Now that you are wrapping up LL, would you say that your height neurosis is gone? If so, from that perspective wouldn't this experience all be worth it?
Dear future limb lengthener, I just finished my LL
In my opinion height neurosis is only a small part of the problem. There is absolutely nothing that can compensate for the lack of height. You can be good looking, smart, rich, have a good personality, but you will still be short.
All other men with subconsciously feel superior to you just for the stupid fact that you are shorter (significantly).
Felling good with yourself about your own height will not change how others view you. It is for you to decide if you care what others think.
The richer you are, the more beautiful you are, the more popular you are, the more obvious your shortness becomes:
Messi, best soccer player in the word, rich: Every commentator says about him "the little man"; commentators don't say this about average short players
Tom Cruise, good looking, rich, popular; "Would you date him? Nah, if he were tall I would date him"
And the classic line: "Look at him, he is so good looking; too bad he is short "
You can be happy and be a lion in your own mind, but everyone will still see a cat. (this may be a good thing in some situations) :
https://almanahualli.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/cat-sees-lion-in-mirror-2.gif
Quote from: sylar94 on May 21, 2019, 02:07:21 PMIn my opinion height neurosis is only a small part of the problem. There is absolutely nothing that can compensate for the lack of height. You can be good looking, smart, rich, have a good personality, but you will still be short.
All other men with subconsciously feel superior to you just for the stupid fact that you are shorter (significantly).
Felling good with yourself about your own height will not change how others view you. It is for you to decide if you care what others think.
The richer you are, the more beautiful you are, the more popular you are, the more obvious your shortness becomes:
Messi, best soccer player in the word, rich: Every commentator says about him "the little man"; commentators don't say this about average short players
Tom Cruise, good looking, rich, popular; "Would you date him? Nah, if he were tall I would date him"
And the classic line: "Look at him, he is so good looking; too bad he is short "
You can be happy and be a lion in your own mind, but everyone will still see a cat. (this may be a good thing in some situations) :
https://almanahualli.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/cat-sees-lion-in-mirror-2.gif
How you feel about yourself is more important than how strangers feel about you.
I don't base my decisions on how other people think of me. It's all perspective. If 3 inches in height makes you feel better about yourself when you wake up in the morning, in the privacy of your home, then go for it. I'm not doing this for validation from anyone else. The majority of people who judge you or have negative opinions about you wouldn't show up at your funeral or shed a tear if you died so why would you live your life based on their opinions of you?
Quote from: TheAlchemist on May 21, 2019, 02:20:52 PMHow you feel about yourself is more important than how strangers feel about you.
I don't base my decisions on how other people think of me. It's all perspective. If 3 inches in height makes you feel better about yourself when you wake up in the morning, in the privacy of your home, then go for it. I'm not doing this for validation from anyone else. The majority of people who judge you or have negative opinions about you wouldn't show up at your funeral or shed a tear if you died so why would you live your life based on their opinions of you?
Thats great, but you dont need LL to change how you feel about yourself.
LL is to change how others feel about you.
Your post is very interesting... I am 5"7 and most women say I'm short.. I met a new girl last week and she isn't interested in me as I'm to short !!!
I would do anything to get my surgery.. only with the top American doctors .. but my surgery will.
Be for me .. not for anyone else ..
Panda 
why did you make only 5,5 cm ? when I undergo to my LL I'll try to reach something between 7/8 cm
The 5'7 complainers are quickly getting more annoying than the 5'10+ ones. At least the latter don't blame all their problems (shortcomings) on their height.
Yes, all of your woes in life are due to the fact you're 5'7.
Well I'm 5ft 5 and I still have women interested in me-even women that are taller. Granted I'm apparently good looking but what does that tell you?
At 5ft 7 you're going to be taller than the vast majority of women in the west. At this height it's more about frame, face and body.
I'm at university and I live with a guy who's 6ft 6.Intially I saw women crowding around him and I thought it confirmed that my neurosis isn't entirley in my head but then I realised that none wanted to make out with him or date him-they saw him as a freak. Instead he would be rejected because his face was below average I would say.
The thing is average sized men and above experience rejection too. However there's a crucial difference in that a women won't outright tell a man that they find him facially unattractive as they realise how shallow it sounds.
On the other hand society deems it OK to reject men based on height so there's no need for women to mask this behind 'Oh he's simply not my type'.
Humans are a sum of their parts which is why I intend to get the surgery because I believe my height is a huge negative and detracts from my ability to express who I truly am. If I woke up tomorrow at 5ft 7,I would simply realise I was mentally ill. At this height there's far more things you can work on to make yourself more attractive such as hair, skin, teeth, body, clothes etc.
Some people here need to stop and ask themselves what does it take? Women see 80% of men as unattractive anyway according to studies and it's mostly about face just as it is for men.
If you're getting the surgery to be more intrinsictly more attractive then it's not going to work for the vast majority of people undergoing this surgery.
The best outcome is your neurosis abates and people want to be around you more because the bad aura you generate from being insecure has subsided.
Quote from: Apoplectic on May 21, 2019, 05:38:38 PMThe best outcome is your neurosis abates and people want to be around you more because the bad aura you generate from being insecure has subsided.
100%
Because he wants to be safe.
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