Let's talk about the elephant in the room: Body dysmorphia

Member

Posts: 333

Joined: Nov 2023

Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 2:17 am

#21

Quote from: RB on December 11, 2023, 02:02:38 AMI can offer my perspective on this as someone who has done the surgery and gone from around 5’4” to 5’7”. It has been a while since I’ve even been on this forum mainly because I don’t think about this surgery or height in any great detail anymore. Only reason I have stopped by is because I just had my nails removed. Based on that this surgery has totally changed my life and was the best thing I have ever done.

To give some context, when I was 5’4” I used to receive multiple comments about my height per day mainly from people I knew but sometimes complete strangers. I always felt like I wasn’t taken seriously in certain situations due to my height despite having an attractive face and other things going for me. It turned out it wasn’t in my head because after getting to 5’7”, my interactions with people have completley changed and my height is no longer so glaring and th first thing people notice about me. I’m still short, but I hear comments about my height maybe once a month or less now compared to daily and when I do hear something it’s more along the lines of a light joke, whereas people used to refer to me as tiny and juvanalise me before and it used to bother me so much.

People at taller starting heights (5’6 and up etc) will still benefit greatly from this surgery but it won’t be the life changing result that you think it will be. Going from looking freakishly short to on the taller side or short has allowed me to live a normal life and not worry about my height being a barrier in social and business interactions. Dating wise, I had a gf when I did this and am still with her (married now) so can’t say much there but attention and the way women speak to me has definitely changed.

That is just my experience but I think the higher your starting height, the less “life changing” the benefit even if it will undoubtably still improve things for you.

As someone who’s trying to from 5’5.5” to 5’8” this is great to hear. Hopefully I get a similar benefit to you since our starting heights are not very different. Off topic but were you open about the surgery to friends and family, and did most people notice? If people you know noticed the height change what was your excuse?

Edit Post

Quote from: RB on December 11, 2023, 02:02:38 AMI can offer my perspective on this as someone who has done the surgery and gone from around 5’4” to 5’7”. It has been a while since I’ve even been on this forum mainly because I don’t think about this surgery or height in any great detail anymore. Only reason I have stopped by is because I just had my nails removed. Based on that this surgery has totally changed my life and was the best thing I have ever done.

To give some context, when I was 5’4” I used to receive multiple comments about my height per day mainly from people I knew but sometimes complete strangers. I always felt like I wasn’t taken seriously in certain situations due to my height despite having an attractive face and other things going for me. It turned out it wasn’t in my head because after getting to 5’7”, my interactions with people have completley changed and my height is no longer so glaring and th first thing people notice about me. I’m still short, but I hear comments about my height maybe once a month or less now compared to daily and when I do hear something it’s more along the lines of a light joke, whereas people used to refer to me as tiny and juvanalise me before and it used to bother me so much.

People at taller starting heights (5’6 and up etc) will still benefit greatly from this surgery but it won’t be the life changing result that you think it will be. Going from looking freakishly short to on the taller side or short has allowed me to live a normal life and not worry about my height being a barrier in social and business interactions. Dating wise, I had a gf when I did this and am still with her (married now) so can’t say much there but attention and the way women speak to me has definitely changed.

That is just my experience but I think the higher your starting height, the less “life changing” the benefit even if it will undoubtably still improve things for you.

As someone who’s trying to from 5’5.5” to 5’8” this is great to hear. Hopefully I get a similar benefit to you since our starting heights are not very different. Off topic but were you open about the surgery to friends and family, and did most people notice? If people you know noticed the height change what was your excuse?

Like (0)

S

sxxa

Member

Posts: 207

Joined: Sep 2023

Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 2:28 am

#22

Quote from: finertoga on December 11, 2023, 01:12:16 AMI guess it depends on how you measure benefit. If you take simple quantitative measures like income and number of dates/rejections, then I would agree with you. But how do you measure bullying? Would someone measure the number of negative comments they receive on a daily basis? How about the number of times height is mentioned in conversation? How do you measure “feeling like an outcast”? The point is that these measures are hard to quantify and thus we don’t have good data to compare at various heights, but that doesn’t mean these aren’t important.

Let’s take a look at plastic surgery for example. Plastic surgery is not just for beautification. Plastic surgeons do reconstructive surgery on burn victims, car accident victims, victims of mauling, and people who have horrible disfigurements. Here’s a gun accident victim https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2218832/Richard-Lee-Norris-face-transplant-Gun-accident-victim-given-amazing-operation-US-doctors.html who got a face transplant, for example. Now wouldn’t you say this person has gained an enormous benefit?

On the flip side, you have average to below average looking people who beautify themselves with plastic surgery to look like models. In both cases, there is a large benefit to be gained. It’s just different.

Obviously being 5’2” isn’t the same as being a disfigurement victim but you get my point. In both cases the individual is simply looking to be more normal, while others are looking for “enhancement” to look more attractive.

Yes I get your point, at the end of the day it has to do with the reasons every individual may have to undergo the procedure. Your argument doesn't exclude mine, in fact both exists at the same time, while there are people who just want to feel normal, there are some others who want to get rid of their body dysmorphia.

I'm just wanted to point out that every person may have their own reasons for go for this, wheter is for feeling normal or just to overcome their body dysmorphia, there is still an objective reality which say the taller you are, the better your life will be, and logically the tallest people on the short spectrum are the ones who will benefit the most in this regard.

Edit Post

Quote from: finertoga on December 11, 2023, 01:12:16 AMI guess it depends on how you measure benefit. If you take simple quantitative measures like income and number of dates/rejections, then I would agree with you. But how do you measure bullying? Would someone measure the number of negative comments they receive on a daily basis? How about the number of times height is mentioned in conversation? How do you measure “feeling like an outcast”? The point is that these measures are hard to quantify and thus we don’t have good data to compare at various heights, but that doesn’t mean these aren’t important.

Let’s take a look at plastic surgery for example. Plastic surgery is not just for beautification. Plastic surgeons do reconstructive surgery on burn victims, car accident victims, victims of mauling, and people who have horrible disfigurements. Here’s a gun accident victim https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2218832/Richard-Lee-Norris-face-transplant-Gun-accident-victim-given-amazing-operation-US-doctors.html who got a face transplant, for example. Now wouldn’t you say this person has gained an enormous benefit?

On the flip side, you have average to below average looking people who beautify themselves with plastic surgery to look like models. In both cases, there is a large benefit to be gained. It’s just different.

Obviously being 5’2” isn’t the same as being a disfigurement victim but you get my point. In both cases the individual is simply looking to be more normal, while others are looking for “enhancement” to look more attractive.

Yes I get your point, at the end of the day it has to do with the reasons every individual may have to undergo the procedure. Your argument doesn't exclude mine, in fact both exists at the same time, while there are people who just want to feel normal, there are some others who want to get rid of their body dysmorphia.

I'm just wanted to point out that every person may have their own reasons for go for this, wheter is for feeling normal or just to overcome their body dysmorphia, there is still an objective reality which say the taller you are, the better your life will be, and logically the tallest people on the short spectrum are the ones who will benefit the most in this regard.

Like (0)

R

RB

Member

Posts: 360

Joined: Apr 2019

Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 2:32 am

#23

Quote from: finertoga on December 11, 2023, 02:17:05 AMAs someone who’s trying to from 5’5.5” to 5’8” this is great to hear. Hopefully I get a similar benefit to you since our starting heights are not very different. Off topic but were you open about the surgery to friends and family, and did most people notice? If people you know noticed the height change what was your excuse?

I told my parents and my gf but beyond that I didn’t tell anyone and don’t plan to. I received mixed reactions. Most of the people that noticed I was taller were people who were close in height before who I am now taller or same height as. They definitely asked me and each time I just acted dumb “really? Haha first time someone’s said that etc” a bit of a dumb response but I believed it worked in that those people don’t say anything anymore and things are normal with them. Some people didn’t say anything at all including some people i have known for over 15 years. Most of them are closer to 6 foot so that may be a reason or they noticed but didn’t say anything. Overall some people willl notice something but it’s not as bad as I thought people would be trying to out me for it and calling attention to it constantly.

Like (0)

M

Metaphyglv

Member

Posts: 269

Joined: Nov 2019

Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 3:08 am

#24

Quote from: finertoga on December 11, 2023, 01:12:16 AMI guess it depends on how you measure benefit. If you take simple quantitative measures like income and number of dates/rejections, then I would agree with you. But how do you measure bullying? Would someone measure the number of negative comments they receive on a daily basis? How about the number of times height is mentioned in conversation? How do you measure “feeling like an outcast”? The point is that these measures are hard to quantify and thus we don’t have good data to compare at various heights, but that doesn’t mean these aren’t important.

This

Like (0)

M

Metaphyglv

Member

Posts: 481

Joined: Nov 2019

Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 3:41 am

#25

Quote from: RB on December 11, 2023, 02:02:38 AM}

To give some context, when I was 5’4” I used to receive multiple comments about my height per day mainly from people I knew but sometimes complete strangers. I always felt like I wasn’t taken seriously in certain situations due to my height despite having an attractive face and other things going for me. It turned out it wasn’t in my head because after getting to 5’7”, my interactions with people have completley changed and my height is no longer so glaring and th first thing people notice about me. I’m still short, but I hear comments about my height maybe once a month or less now compared to daily and when I do hear something it’s more along the lines of a light joke, whereas people used to refer to me as tiny and juvanalise me before and it used to bother me so much.

}

Literally what i mean in this post. For guys who start that low its life changing in the way you end up the surprise in others of meeting someone that short. Its not about getting more girls or things like that, but feeling normal.It's an exaggerated but similar comparition that Finertoga did, you are not going to be totally like other dudes after a face reconstruction cosmetic surgery, but at least you will stop being treated like a freak, an outlier. You are going to be a short guy yeah, but inside what is usually considered short, not eye-opener kind of short

Like (0)

D

Dirona

Member

Posts: 312

Joined: Oct 2017

Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 7:31 am

#26

Quote from: finertoga on December 11, 2023, 01:12:16 AMI guess it depends on how you measure benefit. If you take simple quantitative measures like income and number of dates/rejections, then I would agree with you. But how do you measure bullying? Would someone measure the number of negative comments they receive on a daily basis? How about the number of times height is mentioned in conversation? How do you measure “feeling like an outcast”? The point is that these measures are hard to quantify and thus we don’t have good data to compare at various heights, but that doesn’t mean these aren’t important.

Let’s take a look at plastic surgery for example. Plastic surgery is not just for beautification. Plastic surgeons do reconstructive surgery on burn victims, car accident victims, victims of mauling, and people who have horrible disfigurements. Here’s a gun accident victim https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2218832/Richard-Lee-Norris-face-transplant-Gun-accident-victim-given-amazing-operation-US-doctors.html who got a face transplant, for example. Now wouldn’t you say this person has gained an enormous benefit?

On the flip side, you have average to below average looking people who beautify themselves with plastic surgery to look like models. In both cases, there is a large benefit to be gained. It’s just different.

Obviously being 5’2” isn’t the same as being a disfigurement victim but you get my point. In both cases the individual is simply looking to be more normal, while others are looking for “enhancement” to look more attractive.

you are right .. I am 5 ft 6 and I am doing well in my life career wise..Dating wise, I am not that successful.. but if I were to be 5 ft 2, it would have been a mentally traumatic experience..

Edit Post

Quote from: finertoga on December 11, 2023, 01:12:16 AMI guess it depends on how you measure benefit. If you take simple quantitative measures like income and number of dates/rejections, then I would agree with you. But how do you measure bullying? Would someone measure the number of negative comments they receive on a daily basis? How about the number of times height is mentioned in conversation? How do you measure “feeling like an outcast”? The point is that these measures are hard to quantify and thus we don’t have good data to compare at various heights, but that doesn’t mean these aren’t important.

Let’s take a look at plastic surgery for example. Plastic surgery is not just for beautification. Plastic surgeons do reconstructive surgery on burn victims, car accident victims, victims of mauling, and people who have horrible disfigurements. Here’s a gun accident victim https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2218832/Richard-Lee-Norris-face-transplant-Gun-accident-victim-given-amazing-operation-US-doctors.html who got a face transplant, for example. Now wouldn’t you say this person has gained an enormous benefit?

On the flip side, you have average to below average looking people who beautify themselves with plastic surgery to look like models. In both cases, there is a large benefit to be gained. It’s just different.

Obviously being 5’2” isn’t the same as being a disfigurement victim but you get my point. In both cases the individual is simply looking to be more normal, while others are looking for “enhancement” to look more attractive.

you are right .. I am 5 ft 6 and I am doing well in my life career wise..Dating wise, I am not that successful.. but if I were to be 5 ft 2, it would have been a mentally traumatic experience..

Like (0)

A

AllinStryde

Member

Posts: 323

Joined: Sep 2020

Posted on Dec 13, 2023, 6:05 pm

#27

I agree with RB. I did this procedure as someone who was 5'5" and ended up just shy of 5'8". It is completely life-changing. I'm never going to be "tall"...but I did become "less short" and it's been a wild ride. When you're below average...it becomes your entire identity. Like, you're the funny, short-guy, or you're the short-doctor. Take your pick and fill in the blank, but you're always the "short-whatever." To finally come out of that category feels amazing. I was never in the "muh 6-feet crowd", because I will never get there, and that's ok. It finally feels good to be taken a bit more seriously. Often times, I'm still the shortest guy in the room, but sometimes I'm not, whereas before, I was always the shortest person anywhere. Or at least it always seemed that way. Any short dudes that are out there on the fence about it, just go with a good doctor and get it done, you won't regret it. Although, I did it with the Stryde nail, and I couldn't possibly imagine going through this being wheelchair-bound for 3 months. Much luck to any future CLL'ers.

Like (0)

M

Metaphyglv

Member

Posts: 198

Joined: Nov 2019

Posted on Dec 13, 2023, 7:32 pm

#28

Yeah, is astronomically more life changing going from very short (as me) to short than going from short to just under average, and this at the same time its a lot more life changing than going from under average to average of slightly above average.
Its about not being always the guys who main feature is being short, and which the first thing others see in you its your size.

Like (0)

F

finertoga

Member

Posts: 149

Joined: Nov 2023

Posted on Dec 13, 2023, 10:55 pm

#29

Quote from: AllinStryde on December 13, 2023, 06:05:00 PMI agree with RB. I did this procedure as someone who was 5'5" and ended up just shy of 5'8". It is completely life-changing. I'm never going to be "tall"...but I did become "less short" and it's been a wild ride. When you're below average...it becomes your entire identity. Like, you're the funny, short-guy, or you're the short-doctor. Take your pick and fill in the blank, but you're always the "short-whatever." To finally come out of that category feels amazing. I was never in the "muh 6-feet crowd", because I will never get there, and that's ok. It finally feels good to be taken a bit more seriously. Often times, I'm still the shortest guy in the room, but sometimes I'm not, whereas before, I was always the shortest person anywhere. Or at least it always seemed that way. Any short dudes that are out there on the fence about it, just go with a good doctor and get it done, you won't regret it. Although, I did it with the Stryde nail, and I couldn't possibly imagine going through this being wheelchair-bound for 3 months. Much luck to any future CLL'ers.

How many cm’s did you do and what segment/doctor? I’m essentially wanting to go from the same height to 5’8”. Did you notice dating became significantly easier? At 5’5ish it’s hard not to feel insecure. I would love to just walk into the room and feel like a normal person that’s just a bit below average. Like you said shortness becomes part of your identity that you just can’t shake.

Like (0)

M

markr09

Member

Posts: 74

Joined: Jul 2023

Posted on Dec 28, 2023, 7:20 am

#30

I'm just slightly over 5'6, but I live in a country where my height is considered slightly "above avg" (3rd world SEA). Unfortunately, those statistics are only disproportionately skewed if considering also the older generations and outside the cities. I can't look away from it nowadays, but younger generations just tend to be taller, and that's statistically a fact due to better nutrition and environment especially those who live in cities and are atleast middle class. Per generation, a population can get taller, and I unfortunately took a hard hit on my dysphoria when I really started to notice a lot of people are taller than me. I personally never had much issues with my height before, but it has become really increasingly been an issue for me in the past 5 years or so when I just got more aware.

Here's the thing as well, you also don't necessarily need to be in a country where the height avg is taller than you to feel short. Honestly, just travelling to US for a duration of my work managed to make me feel incredibly smaller than how I usually feel. I had to wear high-cut shoes and wear some insoles to make me feel relatively normal. And since I somewhat travel frequently in countries like US, I just usually feel my dysphoria growing whenever I go out just to eat. I genuinely dislike using the excuse, "cause of my race" why I'm short, because I do think I still want to be as tall as the actual avg in the world.

I didn't think of wanting to do CLL for dating reasons. I think height dysphoria comes in many shapes and forms, and for most men it's usually because of women and dating. Personally for me, I just feel less confident when I see myself being shorter than the next avg guy, even if I'm athletically fit. I also feel less intimidating to a lot of people because of it(hence less personal space). The feeling gets worse when most young women in this generation, especially those from atleast middle class families, are starting to reach my height and more. I can't count how many times I've seen a woman of my same race and in another country that's close/as/taller than me, and that just feels really emasculating personally speaking. Like I most likely wouldn't mind if a woman was taller than me per se if I was atleast in the global avg height for men. It really just feels emasculating, and I'm not even talking about dating. I'm also slightly pissed of the fact that I have short femurs(atleast from looking at it), and most pants/shorts just don't look good with me, and I kind of get it why longer legs look pretty attractive.

Personally, I do agree it's life-changing for very short people, but I also think the same for just under shorter than avg guys as well. Just being atleast part of being the slightly near or over 50% of males atleast imo, makes it look confident and intimidating enough that some people wouldn't take you as some pushover even if you're skinny af. I do think however, 5'8~5'10 is the golden avg range where I really wouldn't consider CLL, and 5'11 being really 6'0 at that point but of course individual height issues can vary from person to person. I firmly believe however, someone who's atleast 172cm with a pretty good fit body is less likely intimidated in a lot of countries. However I agree with finertoga's perspective, with an avg/above avg height at the very least most people would not mock you. I've had co-workers at 5'1~5'3 males and not once have I made fun of their height because I do know that feeling(in my own perspective), but they do get laugh at sometimes, even if they jokingly laugh with them.

Edit Post

I'm just slightly over 5'6, but I live in a country where my height is considered slightly "above avg" (3rd world SEA). Unfortunately, those statistics are only disproportionately skewed if considering also the older generations and outside the cities. I can't look away from it nowadays, but younger generations just tend to be taller, and that's statistically a fact due to better nutrition and environment especially those who live in cities and are atleast middle class. Per generation, a population can get taller, and I unfortunately took a hard hit on my dysphoria when I really started to notice a lot of people are taller than me. I personally never had much issues with my height before, but it has become really increasingly been an issue for me in the past 5 years or so when I just got more aware.

Here's the thing as well, you also don't necessarily need to be in a country where the height avg is taller than you to feel short. Honestly, just travelling to US for a duration of my work managed to make me feel incredibly smaller than how I usually feel. I had to wear high-cut shoes and wear some insoles to make me feel relatively normal. And since I somewhat travel frequently in countries like US, I just usually feel my dysphoria growing whenever I go out just to eat. I genuinely dislike using the excuse, "cause of my race" why I'm short, because I do think I still want to be as tall as the actual avg in the world.

I didn't think of wanting to do CLL for dating reasons. I think height dysphoria comes in many shapes and forms, and for most men it's usually because of women and dating. Personally for me, I just feel less confident when I see myself being shorter than the next avg guy, even if I'm athletically fit. I also feel less intimidating to a lot of people because of it(hence less personal space). The feeling gets worse when most young women in this generation, especially those from atleast middle class families, are starting to reach my height and more. I can't count how many times I've seen a woman of my same race and in another country that's close/as/taller than me, and that just feels really emasculating personally speaking. Like I most likely wouldn't mind if a woman was taller than me per se if I was atleast in the global avg height for men. It really just feels emasculating, and I'm not even talking about dating. I'm also slightly pissed of the fact that I have short femurs(atleast from looking at it), and most pants/shorts just don't look good with me, and I kind of get it why longer legs look pretty attractive.

Personally, I do agree it's life-changing for very short people, but I also think the same for just under shorter than avg guys as well. Just being atleast part of being the slightly near or over 50% of males atleast imo, makes it look confident and intimidating enough that some people wouldn't take you as some pushover even if you're skinny af. I do think however, 5'8~5'10 is the golden avg range where I really wouldn't consider CLL, and 5'11 being really 6'0 at that point but of course individual height issues can vary from person to person. I firmly believe however, someone who's atleast 172cm with a pretty good fit body is less likely intimidated in a lot of countries. However I agree with finertoga's perspective, with an avg/above avg height at the very least most people would not mock you. I've had co-workers at 5'1~5'3 males and not once have I made fun of their height because I do know that feeling(in my own perspective), but they do get laugh at sometimes, even if they jokingly laugh with them.

Like (0)

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: Body dysmorphia

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Edit Post

Related Topics