About the "Friendzone"

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Don't cnatact her after you go back just live your life man . U deserve it now

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Quote from: GROWtalORdieTRYING1 on September 25, 2014, 12:52:08 AMcongrats on 2 weeks left, the finish line is in sight. I skimmed over you diary also.

it always surprises me how long it takes to start walking again even after consolidation

Thank you man! Yeah true although it still doesnt feel like it is almost over due to the fact that i probably will have to be so careful the first weeks without frames (even if they tell me the risk is very low of anything happening i will still be paranoid about it). Also getting back into my normal life will probably be difficult at first, many questions from friends to deal with probably.

Yeah i agree everything about this surgery takes much longer than i initially expected, but i think 2-3 months from now i will be able to walk completely normal even outdoors.

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Quote from: Shortie on September 25, 2014, 04:18:56 PMYou worry too much man , becarful don't let your mind drive you too much thinking about the past isn't good for you at all and you will gain nothing , how did you know she rejected you cuz of your height ? If I was you I would fouces on what I'm doing now think about the future get in shape imagin your self in 6 month from now how woul you look like how your life gonna be , and trust me you will be happy .

Yeah i know but this girl is kind of a symbol of why my life has always been crap since my teens started.. all the bad luck i had back then made me lose so much in terms of life experience, and even up until now i am still affected by that, i lack the popularity of many guys including many who are substantially uglier than i am, and while status wasnt as important when i was younger now it is really important if you want a beautiful girlfriend and an eventful life.

But im not saying height was the primary reason she rejected me, to be honest i didnt have much of anything when she met me. I didnt dress well, i was skinny, i was shorter than average, i didnt take care of my skin as well as i should have, and i had barely any photos on facebook/social medias (and those i had where really bad and not really representative of how i look).

So im not surprised at all that she friendzoned me, in fact i wouldnt even have talked to her in normal circumstances but she actively started calling me and wanting to hang out, I acted confident around her most of the time but deep inside i just knew she wasnt interested in me in a sexual way, and i didnt take long for me to find out that it was true either.

She treated me without any respect at times, but im not sure it was intentional, but regardless if i had taken better care of my appearance before i met her im certain things would have been different (who knows height might still have been a dealbreaker).

She seems to regret it since she was desperate to get me back after i stopped hanging out with her, but eventually she gave up because i said something hurtful to her. She probably thinks i dont care at all about her anymore. Im curious if she would act different around me now though since by the time she started adulating me i had started to dress a bit better and took better care of my skin and hair, got some much better photos uploaded too and more likes (status lol). Im not popular but at least i dont seem like a total loner/loser anymore on social media.

I know that with my new height, and with some muscle and fancy clothes, im easily on her level in terms of physical appearance. I will probably never reach her level of popularity though, its to late for me for that, unless i become very successful in my career or something.

Im to proud to just call her out of the blue now since its been so long, but i hope i run into her some day. still im trying to focus on the future instead even if she wont be a part of it.

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im just curious. what were some of the disrespectful ways she treated you?

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sorry I had to post the video LOL

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Quote from: GROWtalORdieTRYING1 on September 25, 2014, 07:56:57 PMim just curious. what were some of the disrespectful ways she treated you?

lol dont worry about the video, i love south park so

Yeah, well she would text me last minute to come hang out with her at some club (she wasnt there yet either but she lived much closer) several times, too late for me to be able to realistically ask my own friends if they want to join in. So basically she expects me to drop everything and come se her, and i did several times.

But every time when i got there, she had other friends or acquaintances there and would often disappear go talk to them and sometimes come back to me when she was bored, she had to talk to everybody and be at the center of attention all the time. Sure she would introduce me to some of her friends there, but after the initial introduction they mostly start to talk about intergroup stuff since they know each other and its hard for me to take part of those conversations, and since i couldnt bring my own friends i was kind of left out, and i dont like to mingle when i have to work hard to get into someone elses group you know, i doubt many people do. 

I told her straight out eventually that she should tell me earlier if she expects me to hang out with her, and also make it clear that she didnt want to go out to see me but rather have me as some kind of sidekick, she took me for granted.

Also she would make kind of harsh jokes but of course i played along most of the time.

When talking on the phone or texting, she was considerate, funny and caring most of the time, but almost every time i saw her and other people where there it was so obvious that she would rather talk to those other people who might have had more status that i did, even though she told me she didnt know them that well, and i was often in the background, of course she talked to me too, but its annoying having to work so hard for her attention when she was the one who asked me to come.

There are also some other details which i mentioned in some other thread i believe, to much to get into but basically she slept with a guy with more status than i had only 4 days after meeting him, and this guy was from the same town as me so i knew him a little bit. Even knowing that i liked her she asked me about him if he was a nice guy and when i told her i didnt know if i wanted to stay around anymore knowing she was with him, she begged me to stay as a friend. she managed to convince me but maybe after a few months something else happened, basically she was going to go away for a trip for a month, and we hadnt seen each other for a some weeks so i asked her if she wanted to come to a party my friend was having so i we could hang out before she leaves. She said that she might be able to come.

Then the day of the party, she doesnt call until the clock was like eleven at night, (apparantly she had went to the cinema with some friends and the movie ended late) then she told me that she was at the bus stop close to the party and that she time to chat for a few minutes only before leaving. I was disappointed but i went outside to see her, then after talking a bit i wonder why she cant stay and why she came so far if she was going to go home already. She didnt want to tell me but she knew that there was no way to hide it, I found out she was going to go home to that other guy and sleep at his house. Of course i took big offense to that but i played it cool, although of course i intentionally made it obvious that i was pissed, she realized that but she is to much of a coward to bring it up or admit she screwed up.

I told her to get moving and have a nice trip, she wanted a hug but i didnt give it to her. After that i never initiated a text or phonecall to her again, she knew i was angry and eventually started to write flattering stuff, i responded occasionally but very cold and made it clear i wasnt interested in seeing her again without saying it straight out.

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I FOUND SECRET VIDEO FOOTAGE OF WANNABEGIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol this is you wannabegiant the last time you saw that girl.

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xD

Anyway, i doubt after all that has happened this can be fixed into something good, but i still want her to see the "new" me someday, on social media sure, but also in person so she can tell that i aint small anymore.

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I don't want to be rude WBG but I think being put in the friendzone is mostly your own fault. If you want to sleep with her just make that clear, act flirtatious and see if she reciprocates your feelings. If she does - great you're good to go, if not -great now you know and can move on to the next girl.

Personally I find it really hard to be friends with girls, I've tried but it never worked and nowadays I feel like I don't want to anyway. Most girls aren't very fun to be friends with just annoying.
Anyway if you make it clear what you want and that you're fine with her deciding either way then she will respect you at some level, maybe she'll also call you up if later if she's feeling horny and are alone -or not. Don't expect every girl to jump into bed with you and to be honest you shouldn't just expect people to respect you either. If you are worthy of respect you will get it it's not a right and you won't get it from everyone - that's okay no one wins every time.

If most girls are "friendzoning" (A.K.A rejecting) you I'm sorry - you're not very attractive or at least not very sexual. Might be you're coming of in a friendly way, remember: sex is not for friends. Just make sure you know what you want, and that she knows, if she tries to be a pal don't act like she's one of your buddys back beacause then you are -you guessed it- friends.

Finally don't talk to that girl if she doesn't want sex and you don't want her as a friend you're done with each other. Going back to her just screems the same neediness that made her reject you in the first place.

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Quote from: Uppland on September 26, 2014, 03:28:47 PMI don't want to be rude WBG but I think being put in the friendzone is mostly your own fault. If you want to sleep with her just make that clear, act flirtatious and see if she reciprocates your feelings. If she does - great you're good to go, if not -great now you know and can move on to the next girl.

Personally I find it really hard to be friends with girls, I've tried but it never worked and nowadays I feel like I don't want to anyway. Most girls aren't very fun to be friends with just annoying.
Anyway if you make it clear what you want and that you're fine with her deciding either way then she will respect you at some level, maybe she'll also call you up if later if she's feeling horny and are alone -or not. Don't expect every girl to jump into bed with you and to be honest you shouldn't just expect people to respect you either. If you are worthy of respect you will get it it's not a right and you won't get it from everyone - that's okay no one wins every time.

If most girls are "friendzoning" (A.K.A rejecting) you I'm sorry - you're not very attractive or at least not very sexual. Might be you're coming of in a friendly way, remember: sex is not for friends. Just make sure you know what you want, and that she knows, if she tries to be a pal don't act like she's one of your buddys back beacause then you are -you guessed it- friends.

Finally don't talk to that girl if she doesn't want sex and you don't want her as a friend you're done with each other. Going back to her just screems the same neediness that made her reject you in the first place.

I wouldnt say it is anybodys fault i was put into the friendzone, and being put into the friendzone is not the reason i was angry at her anyway, i did her a favor and tried to be her friend after that because she didnt want to lose me as a friend, even though i probably should have stopped hanging out with her immediately. I only had known her for like 2-3 months before i was friendzoned, and in that time i had met her in person maybe 5 times if i recall correctly, and i realize you have to make your intention clear from the beginning but im sure she would have rejected me anyway if i asked her from the beginning and then it would probably have ended right there. I did try to flirt with her occasionally but she would laugh it off and change subject.

I treated her the same way after i was friendzoned, although i stopped flirting for the most part.

Its completely understandable why she wasnt attracted to me in the first place, i assumed that was the case which is why i at first didnt make any move on her, she made an effort to hang out with me a lot and send lots of messages even though we just met in school, if she didnt do that its likely i would never had tried to get to know her better, since i wasnt happy with myself back then.

The reason i was lacking in so many areas prior to meeting her is technically not my own fault either, i had a series of bad events which i had no control over happen to me during my teens, which has affected my life in all areas. When you are depressed you often dont even try to work on yourself, but i tried anyway but it took me much longer to improve since i had so many things against me. Many things other than height.

Only now after this LL is done do i feel i can reach my full potential in terms of physical appearance, which many of my friends did by the time they where 18-20 years old.

She changed though for sure after i left, she changed the way she talked to me, and she is way less active on social media now. Now im not sure if she would be any different in person if i meet her, but its something i would like to find out. But at this point she is probably angry and sad because she thinks i dont care about her at all, so i expect her to be in defensive mode if i meet her. Part of me just wants to sleep with her since im attracted to her, part of me want to be with her because other than her superficial and arrogant traits she was very fun to talk to and made my boring life more enjoyable at times. But i cant really see it working out in anyway because of the bad experiences in the past with her.

I agree with you that it is difficult to be friends with girls since they for the most part dont do things i enjoy doing, and if you are attracted to them it can become akward at times.

I dont find myself being friendzoned alot since most girls i meet are at clubs, so i either get rejected or score, this girl was different though since i met her at school and she for some reason really wanted to hang out with me even though i didnt make an effort to talk to her in the beginning.

As for respect, i dont agree, there is a certain level of respect that you should be able to expect. If you notice someone treating you worse than others openly then there is a reason to make a deal out of it. If she expects me to go out and meet her last minute in some club in the city (she lives much closer as mentioned) then i at least expect her to want to actually hang out with me when i get there, not hang out with some other people and occasionally talk to me, since i wasnt able to bring my own friends.

And just to make it clear, i didnt show her any kind of neediness (if i did it must have been miniscule) when i met her and hanged out with her. As i mentioned she kept spamming me with texts and calls, i was laidback and made her laugh a lot with my jokes, we mostly talked random stuff, and i was acting confident when i was out with her. But as mentioned the only time i reacted "badly" was when it became clear that she just wanted me there as a sidekick, i mean i dont think anybody wants to be treated that way, she asked me to come out and see her, i did that, but then she barely hangs out with me and instead starts mingling with all the more popular dudes, i would be fine with it if i had someone i knew with me, but im not the type of guy to just start talking to random people in a bar when im basically alone and not drunk.